A Promise, of Sort

This poem is amazing!!! Really lovely! U loved the way you can communicate different feelings! From sadness to somehow hope and happiness...

"I met a miracle but I drove it away
If ever she returns I will make it worth the way"

Sadness, but hoping at the same time!!!

"Someone left the gate open and so it ran away
I fear I've gone too far yet further I go this way"

"The gate it still is open
Maybe it will return this way"

This were my favorite verses! I do believe you are good writing poems if I judge you by this one! You've kept me captivated since I started reading! I enjoyed it! I hope everyone else had like me! Keep writing more like this! You really should!

Keep up the good work!

~Marde!

Hi, Annie! I'm June! (My big sister's name is Annie. It's such a lovely name. )


I really, really adore the way you opened this poem. It tiptoed slowly into the poem while still holding my interest and draped optimism and adventure all around. It's lovely.

While I don't believe that having consistent structure in poetry is that much of a big deal, I think maintaining a consistent style of narration is essential. You kind of shift around between types of narration, which slowed the poem down a little. I think you have some really great ideas in here, but you drown their weight in repeated phrases and don't let them shine as bright as they could.

Keep writing,

June

I really like this poem. It really lets my mind wonder into different settings and that's exactly what i look for when i read something. I want to travel and go some place else. And that's exactly what you did, so well done.
This poem reminds me of a book i read called Mist by Kathryn James. I wonder if you've read it.

"I met a miracle but I drove it away
If ever she returns I will make it worth the way"
I really like this part of the poem, it makes me laugh, however its quite ad at the same time. The personification works really well, i genuinely liked it.

i really like the imagery that's created in this poem along with all the meaning that comes with it. it makes you feel what the character felt as well as see it and completely imagine being there and doing all of that. i also like how smoothly the poem flows and the structure just helps with that. wonderful job!

I like this! I really do It is absolutely great I must say . I like how it seems almost like a tragedy of some love loss. I am not sure if you know this band Annie , but this reminds me of something the band " Snow White's Poison Bite" would sing. The emotions in my opinion are screaming throughout this piece of work. I feel the anger in lines like : i can lead the fierce. This is really a cool piece of work , but I agree with KittyBee on when you need to work on the structure . That's all I can think of at the moment . Keep writing ! Cuz I really love your work !:) It just amazing in my honest opinion .

The lack of structure does further emphasize the lucidity of the work, which does a fine job of sculpting out a mood and tone. I like the way you incorporated the metaphor into the message of the poem, it really creates a relatable, comprehensible situation. There are a few places where it seems grammar slipped out-- but nothing more than missing commas or such. Overall, it's a fair, good piece.
c:

Hey! So I'm here to give you a review!

I personally think that writing freely really demonstrates the imagination and creativity of a writer. I'm the same way, I don't really have a specified structure with my writing, I just write freely as well. As long as your writing continues to flow then your fine. Although I will have to admit that sometimes writing in a specific structure may elaborate the message of the poem and keep it organized, but in your case I think the style you used really made your poem unique.

"Yet somewhere once I read/A virgin can catch a unicorn/The words clear in my head/The true and chaste forever be/I can lead the fierce!" the repetition of this stanza really stuck with me as I read the poem, I think this really helped with the message you were conveying.

Overall I enjoyed your poem and I think you did a great job! Keep writing! I hope to read more of your work!

I wouldn't worry to much about structure. All these reviews tell you a way that art is suppose to be but it doesn't HAVE to be that way. Write freely is what I do, and I don't agree with most syntax that everyone tries to market on poetry. Do you need consistent stanzas? No. The only thing you need is rythem and you can pick and choose the rules you desire.

For example, I leave my rhyme scheme as long as it sounds good to me. All that matters is your gut and if your satisfied with the piece when you read it aloud. Keep writing because I can tell your developing the way you write and your voice.

I actually really liked this poem. The structure wasn't the best but I think that is what makes the poem special. In its own way. The way it was structured really helped tell the story. I really enjoyed how you told it to. The story inside of the poem over all was a really good one. I will most definitely be reading more of your work.

Hello.

I really enjoyed your poem. Was your structure the greatest? No, not really. But I think the odd structure is part of what makes the poem. It's unique, and I really like it. The last line was my favorite part of the entire poem. I felt like it made the poem more real, in a sense.

Nice job overall with the poem! Hope you write more!

Wow! That was really great! I loved the last line! It was sweet, desprete, and hopeful all at once! I think you should change it to you in "The gate is still open , Maybe it will return this way". Post more!

Wow AMAZING!
I love the style in which you wrote.
In your 13th stanza I think it should be willingly.
Even though it did not rhyme all the way it went with the flow and i like that!
And this poem gives a message of hope too which admire a lot!
Keep writing