Fall
the leaves
on the the trees
are changing.
instead of
bright luscious
green
is
red
orange and yellow.
they
(the leaves)
make their
annual
trip to
the ground.
Winter
soft, small
a white wonderland
envelopes
the sleepy Earth
sweet dreams!
Spring
still groggy
with dew
the flowers
awaken.
Summer
hot and humid
children play.
Old men
and women
water
the flowers
and take care of them
like
their own children
throughout the day.
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Canary word: Present
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140,596 Literary Works • 673,545 Reviews
Hey, I like this. It's a charming poem, and I like how you took a a cliched subject matter for a poem (a lot of people write about nature and the seasons), and made it your own. You've got some nice word choice here, and all around I just felt good after reading. I don't know what it is, necessarily, but it was a very good poem and I couldn't really find anything wrong with it! PM me if you have questions.
-Elinor
the shortness of the lines makes the poem kind of hard and annoying to read because they're so choppy, maybe you could lengthen them up a bit. but thats just my opnion. and i agree with vasticity that you don't need to explain the leaves thing. anyway it was a good poem just hard to read
First off, I like it! It's very interestingly formatted and written. There's only a few things that don't work.
We know it's the leaves, you don't have to explain it. When I read this aloud, it seemed too long, disturbing the beat of the poem, compared to the words before it. Shorten it!