The Open Door

I think thats a very deep and passionate poem!

I think there's only one major mistake:

I have to act soon
or my chance will pass me by.
Its time to act or I will fall,
its time for me to risk it all.
So I turn to my past,
wave good bye,
and walk into the light And maybe a period?

Very Deep ! Keep up the Good Work !

Hey SilentRain,

I think this is a good idea poorly executed. What do I mean by that? Basically the concept of a new door opening/losing another life is a pretty good basis for exploring growth, future, and change. But you didn't really explore much past the opening gambit. It's pretty basic. It's almost like you had the idea and wrote it down straight away, when you could have presented this in a much more exciting and interesting way. Currently, it's a bit basic and boring: This will happen, this will happen, this will happen. I really think if you try and bring some more depth and different language to this it will grow from something plain to something beautiful.

Good luck.

SilentRain wrote:

I have the power to open it,
but in opening that door,
another will close,
and if that door closes,
I will lose the ones behind it.

I like the idea that instead of one door closing, and more opening, one door opens and it causes others to close.

I have to choose
to move forward into the light,
or move back into the depth
of the present I wish to be the past.

The problem gives the narrator more of a voice and makes them more relatable (in my opinion anyway)

its time for me to rick it all.

<risk?

So yeahh basically it was really well written and put together and i really like how strong voiced the narrator seemed =D

Touching and deep. Keep writing.