this is a awesome poem.
z
Firstly, i would say that your poetry is wonderfully written, and the person to whom it is dedicated must be very lucky to have you.
You have portrayed the emotional aspects of love very nicely. Holding hands, rubbing back really portray the affection of your partner.
The use of the words 'home' and 'house' to describe your partner's presence and your own house respectively, depict the difference between the two. It shows that house is just a building but home is a place where love resides.
Overall your writing skills are awesome, and i would like you to write more stuff.
P.S. I noticed that you have neither used punctuation nor capitalization. Maybe its your own style, but i would appreciate if you would use atleast a few capital letters and punctuation.
Hiya! Izzy here for a review!
One thing that really bugs me is the lowercase "i"
You need a few commas in certain places, and the spacing is weird.
Buuuut...this is really good! I can really tell you love this person a lot.
I wish I had love like that...
I think you are very talented and this is just beautiful.
Please keep writing!
Very intense expression of sincere appreciation. I'm sure that whoever receives this poem as a token of appreciation will fell very honored by it. I read it with great interest since all of us yearn to be loved in the way that you so eloquently describe. I like the metaphor of a clock, and the visual imagery of the person spelling out the words "Ï love you". It adds visual imagery to the poem and lends it strength. The tactile sense conveyed by the tight holding of hands is also very effective. Love that little heart in the "you" at the end. All in all very nice!
Suggestion:
I would add some punctuation. Not seeing it as expected can be distracting.
Points: 200
Reviews: 0
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