thankful for y♡u

Comments & reviews · 4
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
lovelady430 Comment

this is a awesome poem.

Random avatar
Riya95 Review
Riya95 wrote a review · Wed Nov 15, 2017 3:25 pm

Firstly, i would say that your poetry is wonderfully written, and the person to whom it is dedicated must be very lucky to have you.

You have portrayed the emotional aspects of love very nicely. Holding hands, rubbing back really portray the affection of your partner.

The use of the words 'home' and 'house' to describe your partner's presence and your own house respectively, depict the difference between the two. It shows that house is just a building but home is a place where love resides.

Overall your writing skills are awesome, and i would like you to write more stuff.

P.S. I noticed that you have neither used punctuation nor capitalization. Maybe its your own style, but i would appreciate if you would use atleast a few capital letters and punctuation.

User avatar
IzzyIsHappy
Review

Hiya! Izzy here for a review!

One thing that really bugs me is the lowercase "i"
You need a few commas in certain places, and the spacing is weird.
Buuuut...this is really good! I can really tell you love this person a lot.
I wish I had love like that...
I think you are very talented and this is just beautiful.
Please keep writing!

thank you but that is all a style choice
grammar is needed for stories but not poetry :3

I agree but I just wanted to point it out. Some people don't even realize it.You did amazing by the way!

User avatar
Radrook
Review
Radrook wrote a review · Mon Nov 13, 2017 2:25 pm

Very intense expression of sincere appreciation. I'm sure that whoever receives this poem as a token of appreciation will fell very honored by it. I read it with great interest since all of us yearn to be loved in the way that you so eloquently describe. I like the metaphor of a clock, and the visual imagery of the person spelling out the words "Ï love you". It adds visual imagery to the poem and lends it strength. The tactile sense conveyed by the tight holding of hands is also very effective. Love that little heart in the "you" at the end. All in all very nice!

Suggestion:

I would add some punctuation. Not seeing it as expected can be distracting.



Sometimes even shooting stars find wishes that miss their marks.
— TryHardNinja