Hello, Rosella. I'll be reviewing your poem today, so let's get right into it!I can tell this piece is very close to you and matters a lot, so I want to get my point across but still have this be your poem. Point is, I don't want to change it completely up through my suggestions. Because this poem is about you and the concept is surrounded on you and your growing self, it was very strong and powerful. I'm not sure how that is.I see that the first three stanzas are strongest -- in my opinion. They seem to contain more metaphors/seem more poetic, in sense that the rest of the poem is almost just more literal and specific. For example, you go from
I am not a poster you can roll away and hide in your closet
I may be struggling in history but I know I will succeed in mathematics.
But I am also a human that will decay into nothing one daylike everyone else in the whole dang world.
This was soooo spiritual to me. It's basically how I feel, I need to read this every day so that way I can remind myself that in order to change the darkness, I need to turn on my own light. Cause if I don't, I'll bring others down as the consequence. That's the message I got from that, and I loved it. I hope you create more things like this! It's inspired me to change in the slightest of ways that will make a big difference. Great job! Keep up the good work!:)
Hey, Mary here to do a review. I love this poem. It talks about how we are our own people. Which I love, because I am most definitely my own, weird person. My favorite lines are in the first stanza:"I am not a painting you can create with fragments of your imagination.Nor am I clay to be molded into who you want me to be"You did such a good job in conveying this theme, of being yourself and not what someone else wants you to be. Your descriptions were amazing and your comparison with the garden was really well done and thought out. I really love the line where you said a girl with a big heart for the Lord. You aren't afraid to share what you believe, and that's what makes a good writer.Keep it up!
Hi Rosella, I enjoy the structure of this narrative poem. The format is very pleasing to the eye. There are a quite a few striking phrases throughout the piece: I will not let people water my gardenI am not a book to be abandoned on a shelfThe narrator has a lot of resilience and candor, struggling to reconcile who she is with who the world wants her to be. Struggling to overcome the stresses of school. The final sentence is illuminating - she's relied on others to validate her and now she realizes she only needs her own validation. Great little piece, thanks for sharing,-Dream
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