Young Writers Society

Greetings to you! I hope you are having a most marvelous Review Day!


I think Nikayla said a lot of what I was going to say. But basically the main critique I would have is I'd love more content in the piece.

Now with the warnings of language and violence I think you may have rated this too high unless I'm missing something. While Ivy can be quite painful, unless there's a "Little Shop of Horrors" situation going on, it's not quite violent.

In the future it might be a good idea to double check whether or not the rating is necessary, because high ratings might discourage younger readers when in fact there's nothing that needed such a high content rating. Assuming that maybe this is an ongoing work though, I thank you for keeping our younger readers in mind.

Here is a link to YWS Content Rating Guidelines for future reference: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?t=19231

Another thing, is that "Random" is not the most intriguing title, but it is at least dramatic and concise.

Well that's about all I can say! I sincerely wish you all the best in your future writing!

Best,

~alliyah

This review has been brought to you by Team Cardinals! Happy Review Day!

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

Wolfical says a lot that I have to say here. I think it's a little obvious that something happened to be here before though you ended up editing it out. I'm going to assume you did this because you didn't want anyone to see this. If this is the case, there's actually a way that you can private your works! There should be an editing option on this work and you can private it from there or even unpublish it if you want. If you do that I can go ahead and give you 200 points since you didn't get the review you deserved here and I have many points. If that's not the case, then I assume that this might be a glitch? That could also be something that happened and you didn't notice.

Taking the work seriously though, Ivy could be or mean so many different things. It could be poison ivy. A name. Anything of that sort. I want some more substance because I'm unsure of what you're attempting to hint at here. I'm confused why the only word is 'Ivy' when it's supposed to be a novel chapter. Is the novel chapter in invisible ink that I'm not able to see but only when you shine that special light on it you can? If so I need that light so I can read the rest.

All in all though, I will give you some points since this didn't seem to go the way you wanted it to. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask and have a great day!

Happy Review Day!!!

Well. This is quite the work you've got here.

I didn't know what to expect when I saw a chapter in the Green Room titled "Random." It's odd for a chapter not to have something else with it, y'know? Like, "Random: Chapter 1." Because it didn't, I figured this was a random excerpt from one of your novels that you wanted feedback on.

So anyway, I clicked on the work, eager to help the Blue Jays pull out of their reviewing slump. Bewildered, I refreshed this page a few times to see if I was missing anything. (Am I missing anything? Did you attach a picture of text or something that's not showing up on my browser?)

Assuming that "IVY" was all you meant to publish, along with the clues of "Fantasy," "Dramatic," "Language," and "Violence," I shall review this work to the best of my ability.

Ivy. Poison ivy. Poison oak. It's notorious for being dangerous and something forest adventurers should avoid. Leaves of three - let them be! According to Google, contact with poison ivy can cause Urushiol-induced contact dermatitis, which doesn't sound all too lovely. But that's just the real world. What about a fantasy world, where ivy is so much more dangerous? Where even uttering the word "Ivy" is cursing, just like in the Harry Potter world it's practically a sin to say "Voldemort?"

After all, this work has been rated 16+ for both language and violence. The language part can only be referring to the single word; the violence part to the apparent terrible danger of ivy in this fantasy world. It's so feared that people can't even utter its name. The way it's aligned - center, all-caps, underlined - makes it haunting, poignant, and dramatic, almost like a warning.

What if the all-caps means something else? What if this isn't actually about some fantastical dangerous ivy plant but about something that has the acronym of "IVY?" Intelligent Venetian Youth, for instance, or Illustrated Vodka Yodels - something that's dangerous, fantastical, feared.

That's all I've got for you! Have a wonderful day ~

Wolfie