E - Everyone

Gardens of Eden: Chapter 1: Part 2

In the centre of London, a building as large as the sky and as colourful as Mother Nature was closing its doors to the businessmen and businesswomen who worked there. ‘Gardens of Eden’ was everything the name said it was. It was a large firm that specialised in almost every market, it was the desired throne and now that its king and queen had been killed, it was free for the taking.

Though outside was a kaleidoscopic beauty, inside loomed in darkness, and everywhere was quiet all except the boardroom. Laughter echoed from the bright lit room, bouncing of the walls.

  “Finally, the Gardens of Eden is ours!” the man at the head of the glass table boasted. “Drink and bask in the luxuries only kings can enjoy!”

His name was Sebastian; he was a good-looking 40 year old man. His black locks were slicked back and his facial hair neatly groomed. Though his attitude was ugly. He was a cocky, greedy sumbitch but his success in the technology market won him a place at this table. His skin was tanned and he wore a black three piece suit and trousers; his shirt was left open leaving his neck bare.

  “And queens,” Mya added before taking a sip of champagne, her brown eyes never left Sebastian’s as they exchanged spiteful glances and warm smiles.

  “And queens.” Sebastian repeated.

Mya was the head of the fashion industry which was evident in her choice of clothing: a golden velvet suit and trousers with floral prints, brown blouse and golden stilettoes. She crossed her legs and raised her head in pride when Sebastian repeated what she said. Among the members of the board she was the youngest, at 31, the only female and person of colour, which angered some of them but they couldn’t doubt the success she brought them.

Her brown and golden curls were styled into an afro, complimenting her caramel skin which was painted with nude make-up. Her eyebrows wore a high arch which made her gaze even more menacing.

  “With Eva and Luciem dead, who will take their place?” Jack asked and the light mood that was instilled in the room died.

  “Always looking ahead as usual, eh Jack,” Sebastian said with a fake smile.

  “It’s best someone is.”

Jack was quietly but formally dressed and wore brown, round glasses that shielded his calm blue eyes. His dirty blonde hair was combed in an awkward quiff and he had a long nose. He was in charge of the music industry which Mya couldn’t come to terms with. He knew nothing about music nor had the passion for it; he just knew how to sell and who to do business with.

Sebastian regrettably put his glass of champagne down and the other members of the board followed in suit, knowing the following conversation wasn’t going to be pleasant.

  “To answer Jack’s question, following the deaths of my good friends, Eva and Luciem someone will have to take their place,” Sebastian expressed. Mya raised her eyebrow at the mention of ‘good friends’, if they were his friends he wouldn’t have killed them. “I feel that the person most qualified for this role has to have been one of the three original founders, proposed the plan for Eva and Luciem’s murder and be the richest.”

  “That’s obviously you,” a bald man snapped.

  “I suppose it is,” Sebastian gloated. “Nice to know we’re on the same page-”

  “I should be CEO,” Mya stated.

  “Christmas is coming soon; maybe if you’re not naughty till then Santa will grant you your wish,” Sebastian cooed.

Mya shot up, knocking back her chair. “I deserved this more than anyone here!” she slammed her fist against the table making the members of the board jolt in fear. “I’ve sacrificed so much for this company!”

  “And we appreciate your sacrifice but your too - inexperienced,” Sebastian explained.

  “You mean because I’m a woman,” Mya snarled.

  “If I hated you because of your gender would you be here?”

  “Maybe not you but every other white old male in here despises me,” Mya said pointing at the other board members and giving them bitter glares.

  “Who cares? Just admit it Mya, you’ve only just received this job while I’ve been in this position for most of my life, deal with multiply markets and founded this company. I’m the rightful heir to the throne.”

Mya knew he was right but she refused to believe it, if given the chance she’d prove them wrong, the throne was rightfully hers.

  “Good, now that that’settled there's no more reason to keep you. Goodnight." Sebastian dismissed.

The board flocked out of the boardroom, besides Mya who stayed in the swallowing darkness and stared at the head chair with longing eyes. It was golden, though the others were silver. It shimmered under the moonlit sky and it was then that Mya knew what she’d dedicate her life towards.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Featherstone
Review

Hello, Fea here to review!

So first off, I'd like to say I enjoyed the description in this piece as well as the metaphor about kings and queens. The name - the Garden of Eden - intrigues me, and piques my interest. What similarities does it hold, I wonder?

My only criticism is a few nitpicks:

"Mya raised her eyebrow at the mention of ‘good friends’, if they were his friends he wouldn’t have killed them." Instead of a comma, this should be a dash, like so: "Mya raised her eyebrow at the mention of 'good friends' - if they were his friends he wouldn't have killed them."

"'And we appreciate your sacrifice but your too - inexperienced,' Sebastian explained." You're as opposed to your; your indicates possession whereareas you're is you are.

That's all! See you next part,

~ Fea

thanks for the review :-)

Thanks for giving me something interesting to review! :wink:

Thanks for giving me something interesting to review! :wink:

Thanks for giving me something interesting to review! :wink:

User avatar
Asith
Review
Asith wrote a review · Sun Apr 16, 2017 11:58 am

Hey, this is little late, but I felt like leaving a review on your work.
Halfway into the story I realised this was a 'Part 2', and I haven't read 'Part 1', so take what I say with a grain of salt :)

Firstly, your descriptions are absolutely gorgeous. I especially enjoy your use of phrasing such as "kaleidoscopic beauty", which really adds a layer of... skill to your writing style.
I also see you've managed to describe scenes through their sounds as opposed to just their sights which is something that can really bring a piece together. Kudos.

Your characterization is also very well done. You describe each person's appearance vividly, yet at a pace that doesn't make the reader get bored of hearing about their fashion choices.
I especially enjoy Sebastian's personality - which you've brought out into the spotlight masterfully.

However, I feel like the characterization of Sebastian and Mya (while being excellent) overshadows the other characters. You've name-dropped quite a few people, but barely gave us any insight on who they actually are. Still, like I said before, I haven't read 'Part 1' so that might be the reason I feel this way.

You are clearly a very good writer and I hope to keep reading more of your work in the future :)

Thanks so much. sorry this is late too, I've been busy of late. Thanks again. :-D



The world is your oyster. Well, it’s my oyster, but you can have some of it.
— Feltrix