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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,796 Reviews
Hello there. KingQueenKnave here, an honest reviewer. Now, I noticed that this is currently the apple of the website's eye given its prime position on the Literary Spotlight. I will keep this in mind when reviewing your poem.
You have punctuation in your poem, but no capital letters. This is, of course, a conscious decision and is consistent throughout your poem- in fact, for the majority of your poetry. I also can see a fluidity in the metaphors regarding flight, regarding the almost magical abilities of the reader and your sentiments towards them. Though, admittedly, this interpretation does not explain the "trickster" portion nor being "killed by it", whatever "it" is. The structure of the poem is also quite strong.
My problem here comes in the fact that this poem is dressed up very nicely, with a unique formatting style, but what the poem is actually saying has been said before. Those little metaphors relating to nature, the "leaf" which "shak[es] in a gust", feel a little flat. As for the formatting style, I am unsure what it contributes to the poem, other than to perhaps disguise the lack of creativity within.
I appreciate your attempts at innovation, and your poem looks nice. However, I personally don't think that a nice-looking poem makes for an excellent poem, deserving of melodramatic accolade, even if I think the poem is good in its own right.
Hi there. I just read this and my goodness I love it. I like how you formatted the poem.This is something I want to print out and put into my journal as a "heck yeah" piece, for me to look at for years to come.
I especially love this stanza:
"You are
a voyage, a broken mast in a drowning sea--stormy skies that sing the sirens to shore"
((wow sorry I messed that formatting up, I am so sorry.))
But yes please keep writing, I'm going to read more of your works soon.
Have a good day!
Well done.
Woah! pomp that piece you wrote up there - it's really something! It's really really adorable! Congratulations for writing such s wonderful poem
Fangirl~
There's nothing here...
Oh my god, that was one of the most beautiful thing I've every read. It's so descriptive and wonderful... words can't express. Here I am attempting to write a review but with nothing to change.
Just wow....so amazing. I don't know how people like you can be so talented.
My favorite part was most definitely:
Let's just hope this is long enough to count as a review....
First of all I would love to start off by saying that I love how descriptive this poem is. Its very moving and simplistic but yes still very powerful. I loved the repetitions and the imagery you’ve created; the word choice was exquisite. I also loved the metaphors you used them perfectly and I could very easily picture this in my head. I thought that it was very heartfelt and beautiful. Now for the actually review. I honestly thought I was perfect, your grammer and punctuation we spot on and I wouldn’t change a thing. The format is intriguing and still it allows the audience to read it easily.
My favorite line was
“you are
a voyage, a broken mast in a
drowning sea – stormy skies
that sing the sirens to shore”
It was so beautiful and descriptive, it has a very descritive natural feel to it. Keep writing because I would love to read more