very sad, pretty amazing..you get the point across very strongly. awesome!
There once was a girl,
so shy and afraid.
Never talked to anyone,
alone, yes she stayed.
Tears are always running down her eyes.
But why?
Is it because she's lonely?
Her mother never loved her.
Her father always beat her.
Her neighbor loved to abuse her.
Living in hell is what she was forced to do.
Running away deep inside her mind,
escaping their harm one way or another.
Poor little Susie.
How afraid she's become.
Once free and happy,
once loud and energetic.
That's what she used to be.
Then her mother got married.
Then her neighbor got hot and heavy.
Somebody save her,
rreach out and pull her,
don't let them abuse her.
Somebody save her,
before she becomes me.
awwww that was absolutely sadnining. It very nicely written though for being horrible, cant you write more peaceful things? I like the you wrote the piece though mimicing the format of the line before,
where it goes her mother never loved her father always beat her are neigbor loved to abuse her. thank you for writing this poem for us =]
wow.....this is sad and just heart breaking. It is good though but I think you cam on a little to strong. 
Keep writing though
Ouch, that was painful to read (in a way I think you desired). I'm not a very good critic, but I noticed a small typo, "rreach out and pull her, " unless that was intentional (it actually made quite a good sound inside my head, but I've probably got some kind of mental disorder). Very good, otherwise. I particularly liked the way you used words which, on their own, are opposite, but in the context had a similar meaning, "Her mother never loved her. Her father always beat her."
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