I don't understand you Momma,
how could you do this to me?
how could you let me be hurt like this?
when you knew,
when you heard,
when I told you!
I don't understand you Momma.
I don't understand you Poppa,
how could you do this to me?
how could you not notice my distance?
when you knew,
when you heard,
when I told you!
I don't understand you Poppa.
I don't understand you friend,
how could you do this to me?
how could you let him get to me?
when you were his wife,
when you knew then and there,
when I told you!
I don't understand you friend.
I don't understand you Passion,
how could you do this to us?
how could you let him get to you?
when you tried to fight back,
when you tried to remain strong,
when you believed in yourself!
I don't understand you Passion.
Not then I didn't,
Not now I do,
But one day I pray,
I will.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Certainly very interesting, the repitition was wearing a bit thin for me though near the end. I mean, I find repitition very effective but after the third time it's used it kind of begins to grate on my nerves slightly. All your stanza's were the same message but directed at different people right? That's kind of what I got and I'm not too sure on what the message itself actually is but I'm thinking it's something along the lines of 'how could you have let this bad thing happen to me' do correct me if I'm wrong please. Aside from all that I quite liked it
Hey, i really liked this, i only noticed a few mistakes so here they are!
this should be when you were his husbandand also Momma and Poppa should have capital letters! also the end bit that says not now i do doesnt sound right to me, i dont know if it is correct or not so ignore me if you want to!!
I thought this was a brilliant piece of work by the way, it was really creative, emotive and effective. Very well done!
Helen
x
and also momma
I loved it, momma a poppa sounded so sweet but emotional, i loved the beginning, it made me want to read more but i was kinda confused by the end... sorry that must be just me! amazing poem
i really did love that poem it is very emotional