look...
can you see the red?
erase it...
you can't.
ignore it...
you did.
change it...
already done...
i'm gone.
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140,703 Literary Works • 673,672 Reviews
I think the only thing going for this is that it makes you think.
At least it makes me think. Cause honestly, I have no idea what this is.
Is this referring to that 'thing you need to get off your chest'; you know when something is bothering you?
I'm clueless. But then again, it may just be me and my obliviousness on account I'm as sick as a dog...
Anyhoo, try to elaborate on this. It's much too short, and way too vague. Short poems work sometimes; this not so much. I want to have a clear vision on what you are talking about. And try not to use so many eclipses (...), they get very irritating.
Crap, I just realized you were a New Member! Was I too harsh? If so, don't take it personally... If I had a poem you reviewed, I'd want you to tell me your honest opinion, and suggest ways for me to fix it.
Also, there is a 2:1 ratio, For every 2 reviews you post, and can post one piece of yours. The reason why I say this is because I've noticed you broke that rule already. The rule isn't to annoy you, trust me on that. It just lets everything run smoothly.
PM me if you have any questions!