If you only knew
how much I cried
Would you still treat me this way?
Would you still hate me?
If you only knew
how much I'm honest
Would you continue to call me a lier?
Would you still not believe me?
If you only knew
how much my heart burns
Would you tell me that you love me?
Would you pretend to be above me?
If you only knew
how much my eyes have seen
Would you still call me innocent?
Would you still say I'm a child?
If you only knew
how much life was taken from me
Would you still call me lively?
Would you want to be with me still?
If you only knew
how much pain I've been through
Would you still tell me I'm not hurting?
Would you still pull me through it?
If you only knew
how much i can't trust
Would you still trust me?
Would you try to heal me?
If only you knew,
would i still be with you?
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140,714 Literary Works • 673,675 Reviews
I really like this. Very thought provoking.
Only things I would change:
these lines
I wouldn't have them rhyme because it doesn't fit with the way the rest of the poem went.
And the funny line spacing made it hard to read, I had to copy and paste into word and fix it up before I could understand it... I think still break the lines where they are broken, that's good, however only one line space between stanzas (is that what we call them these days...?) and none between lines within the stanzas.
Also, i think it needs more puctuation and consistent capitalisation... but that may just be me with my strange love for them...
Overall, a very good piece. I like your work very much.
well this poem is well written and actually it makes you to stop and think how you treat people surround you...this is good one.
i liked everything about it except the part that it was so long, but maybe it's because i've become accustomed to short poems, i don't know...
keep writing and i wish to you a nice week
I'm pretty much speechless:O... Nice poem keep writing! (what you wrote actually made me think (hardly happens) )