Swooning around in darkness,
Not understanding sex without pain ,
Continuing to get hurt,
Why can't they get enough ?
I wait until their done,
but the men are never gone.
I want to forget,
why can't I forget ?
I want to learn something,
but I'm too stupid to care,
too scared to find out,
so why can't I get over it
it's done and over, shit!
Why can't I get over it?
I can't say a single bit.
I still have the pain,
I still have the scares.
Men were inside me,
way before I wanted to see,
the secret to the male anatomy.
Can someone see what's left of me,
after the attacks I"m no longer free.
Can someone tell me something,
something to see before I leave,
Were my attacks caused by me?
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139,640 Literary Works • 672,638 Reviews
as the others have said you should improve a little bit your grammar. Anyway, I liked it but it really did sound a bit rushed.
It was very deep. And the lines were you expressed the thoughts just like someone in that situation would do, it made it much more real.
Keep writing!
i agree with adrian u made it sound like you just thought it up and wrote it instead of letting in slowly turn into a poem but other than i that i can understand what the "poem"
means i am still battling the sam ethings which is why i write poetry well anyway like i said i LOVED tit but revise it a bit and space it out some ok hun
p.s. please read and review my work
thiis is great...but you might want to try a thesaurus some times it seemed like you couldnt quite find the right word and you stuck something in there just cause it rhymed
First, you really need to try to use grammar. It is difficult to read without it and makes your poem seemed rushed.
Second, I would try, if you are going to write things of this nature, to write it organically ... Leave it for awhile ... Come back and edit. Make it more ... Poem-y ... Because, it just sounds like a stream of conscious.
Edit.
Adrian