The Progeny: Chapter 10

by MissGangamash

Published November 24, 2014

12+

In The Progeny (Novel)

Evie’s heart was in her throat when the door swooped open and there stood Nico, settling his glasses a little askew on his nose. His grey eyes squinted at her for a silent moment. She just stood waiting after figuring that the backlight had probably turned her into a black splodge. Finally, Nico’s vision seemed to have cleared because he took a step back, eyebrows raised.

“Evie…what…?” He looked down at himself stood before her in nothing but black boxer shorts. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me get my robe. Do come in.”

He reached behind the open door and flung on a navy checked dressing gown, tying the cord around his waist. He stepped aside, gesturing her to enter. She curled her fingers into her sleeves and stiffly made her way into her room, making sure to keep the tears flowing.

The door shut behind her and she turned to see Nico with his back against it, watching her with a sympathetic look in his eyes. The lamp on his bedside table was on but they were still cloaked in a grey darkness, making Evie miss her vampire sight. “What’s wrong?”

She shrugged and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…everything’s getting to me. I don’t feel like the same person anymore.”

“Oh, Evie.” He swept over to her and the next minute, she was in his arms with her head bent into his chest. “It’s okay. I know it must be hard. But you know that this change is good, right? You are the girl you once were. The girl you had been before the vampire stole your humanity.”

“I know. I know.” She wrapped her arms around his narrow waist and held him tightly, feeling oddly comforted by the contact.

“Did you tell him about him becoming human too?”

Her heart stammered as she thought about what he would want to hear. “Yes.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said he’d do it if it meant getting out of here.”

Nico released his grip on her and held her at arm’s length. “But you were supposed to stay here, with me. You will be the one who made the cure possible. I want you by my side.”

“Then you’ll have to have two of us by your side. Because I’m not leaving him.”

He frowned a little and slipped his hands from her arms. “I guess that will have to do then.”

She smiled faintly and sat down at the edge of the bed. That’s when she noticed his clothes flung onto a chair in the corner. There was a pointy bulge in the pocket of his pants. Must be his keys.

Now it was time to get rid of him so she could get them.

She scratched her arm to break the scab and sucked in a breath when she felt her blood dripping down her arm. She sighed heavily so she caught his attention then lifted her arm to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. His eyes widened.

“What’s that?”

She jumped and looked up at him. “What’s what?”

He glided over to her and grabbed her wrist. He twisted it slightly and tugged at her sleeve. “That.”

Quickly, she pulled her sleeve from his grasp and covered the bloody stain. “It’s nothing.”

He sat down beside her and leaned into her to get a closer look. “That’s not nothing. Give me your arm.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Evie-” He grabbed her wrist again, making her let out a growl of irritation. He yanked her sleeve up and gasped at the slice up her forearm. “Oh, Evie…what did you do?”

Tears began to brim her eyes and she yanked her sleeve back down. “It’s fine.”

He squinted into her eyes, unconvinced. “You did that to yourself?”

She looked away with a shrug.

“Oh, Evie, why would you do that?”

“Because…” she mumbled.

“Because…what?”

“I wanted to test something.”

“To test what? You know you don’t have vampire healing anymore.”

“I know…” she mumbled into her chest. “I just wanted to see for myself.”

He sighed and got to his feet. “It’s bleeding again. Let me clean it up for you. I’ve got a first aid kit in my bathroom. One second.” He disappeared into his ensuite with his robe floating behind him. Wishing she had her vampire speed again, Evie rushed over to the chair, grabbed the keys and hurried back to the bed. That’s when she realised she had no pockets. Why hadn’t she thought of that? Watching Nico’s shadow in the ensuite getting bigger and bigger, she panicked and shoved the keys into her bra. The metal stung her skin and bit down on her lip, half expecting the sizzle of burning flesh. After manoeuvring the keys around a bit, they sat comfortably, just in time for Nico to return with a roll of plasters and a small pair of scissors.

“This is all I’ve got up here,” he said as he settled back down beside her.

“That’s fine,” she replied and rolled her sleeve up.

He started unravelling the roll of plasters and cut off a strip that was about the size of her cut. “Good, because I don’t feel like traipsing downstairs at this time.”

“I’m sorry for waking you.”

He laughed and shook his head. “I’m glad you did. You’re my responsibility now, Evie. I don’t want you suffering in silence. Whenever you have a problem, I’ll be here for you.”

That made her feel a little guilty. Which then made her angry. After what he’s done to her, to Caius, to all those other vampires, how dare he act all sweet and caring. Manipulating son-of-a-bitch.

“That’s good to know,” was all she said. She watched him as he covered her cut with the plaster and rolled her sleeve back down.

“So, while you’re here, want to talk to me about anything else?” he asked.

“No, no,” she replied, smoothing down her sleeve. “I think I’m good now. Tired. I should probably get back.”

He stood up with her. “Okay, want me to walk you back?”

She laughed and shook her head. “It’s just down the hall. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

He laughed too, and followed her to his door. “Okay, well, you know where to find me if you need anything.”

She smiled and opened the door. “Bye, Nico.”

He slotted his hands into his dressing gown pockets with a soft smile. “Bye, Evie.”

She double checked when she was at the top of the stairs that Nico hadn’t followed her. When she knew she was alone, she made her way down to the basement. Her heart pounded when she got to the foot of the stairs and the two men guarding the front door sized her up. She smiled weakly in an attempt to look nonchalant. It seemed to work. They both nodded to her then lost interest.

She rounded the staircase to the basement door and grabbed the keys from her bra. This was where she really needed to do some convincing. Down there, everything could either go perfectly, or seriously wrong. She sucked in a breath and unlocked the door. The guards watched her from their posts beside each door as she descended the stairs but it wasn’t until she stood in front of the doors that Caius was behind when Mark shifted to the side and blocked her way.

“What are you doing down here?” he asked, his eyes narrowing at her accusingly.

“Nico said I could see my Maker.”

He arched a dark eyebrow. “Really? Then why isn’t he here?”

“He needed rest. Said I could come down myself.”

“Why aren’t you resting?”

She sighed at him. “Yesterday, I was a vampire. My body clock is all messed up. I can’t sleep.”

“How can I be sure you have Nico’s permission?”

She jingled the set of keys before him. “He gave me these. Proof enough for you?”

He gave her an incredulous look that made her heart pound. “Maybe I should give him a call and double check.”

Shit, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. “I really wouldn’t do that if I were you,” she said, her voice peaking from fear as he reached down to grab his phone from his pocket.

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “And why not?”

“He’s had a long day. He’ll be pretty pissed with you. And I don’t think you want to get on his bad side. Nico trusts me. He won’t be best pleased if he thinks that you are doubting him.”

“She’s right, Mark.”

Evie shifted her gaze to the man stood beside the middle set of doors. He had short red hair and a ghostly complexion. He nodded down to Evie. “Let her in. She has the keys.”

Rather reluctantly, Mark gave in and slipped to the side. She slid the second key into the door and pushed it open. She flinched when it banged closed behind her. For a moment, she stood there in the brilliant white room, trying to calm her nerves but it felt like she was charged by electricity. She was trembling with adrenaline.

Suddenly, she kicked herself into motion and made her way down the walkway, making sure to not lock eyes with any of the bloody vampires around her. She had come for Caius and only Caius. No matter how much she wanted to release all of them, one was going to be tricky enough.

“Caius,” she whispered and his head pricked up. He was sat in the centre of his cell, one knee tucked up to his chest. His eyes flew up and he jumped to his feet. Judging by his swift motions, it was clear that her blood had worked.

“Stay quiet,” she whispered in a tone only his vampire hearing could catch. “I don’t know if the cameras have audio.”

He just nodded at her.

“We’ve got to do this fast. The guards have Nico’s number ready to dial and I’m pretty sure there’s going to be an alarm. Once I get you out, we have to be at those gates outside in minutes. Okay?”

He nodded.

“Do what you have to do to get us there. No matter what. Being human, I’m pretty useless so it’s down to you.”

He gulped but nodded.

Caius watched, his muscles coiled and ready, as she unlocked his cell and opened the door.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
megsug
Review
megsug wrote a review Review · Jul 2, 2016

Ganga~
I'm going for team tortoise this month, so I may actually get through what you have posted here. Imagine that? Me going through something quickly. Unbelievable. I know I barely believe it myself.

Onto the actual chapter.

Things are rolling now! I think this chapter could do with a little more suspense actually. It's pretty good as it is, but if you could really milk those moments of tension, where she's getting the keys, where she's walking back to Caius. Heck! Even where she's talking to him, this chapter would shine. I would just do that by slowing down the narration a touch more.

This is some really fine tuning I'm suggesting here, so your chapter is really shining.

One other thing...

feeling oddly comforted by the contact.

She has no reason to feel comforted because she doesn't actually have any emotional turmoil going on. Other than the stress of being caught as she's freeing Caius which prolonged closeness to Nico wouldn't fix. I don't understand why his touch would ever reassure her in this situation. If anything, it would make her feel worse.

Your ending, as usual, is superb. It makes me want to jump right into the next chapter.
Onward,
Megs~

Oh get you speeding through these chapters! Haha. I'll have a look over this and see if I can add more suspense.

Evie is constantly having emotional turmoil, even if it isn't specifically pointed out. Becoming human again is difficult for her, and even though this chapter focuses on mainly her plan to get Caius out, that is still an underlying factor. That's why she feels comforted by the hug. Yes, she has Caius, but she does feel lonely in that house - plus in the last chapter she was questioning her and Caius' relationship a little when she wondered if she was his blood whore now. Nico cares for her in his own weird way and that is oddly comforting for her.

Thanks for the review and see you on the next chapter!

User avatar
Sonder
Review
Sonder wrote a review Review · Dec 20, 2014

Hey Ganga! I'm so sorry for the wait. I had exams and life really has been a jerk lately. Anyway, onto a short review, as I'll focus more on the next chapter.

I literally have no grammatical nitpicks. You are getting so very good at this.
Ermagersh this is amazing! I thought the last chapter had me hanging, but this is just fabulous! The entire time I thought, hmm, what does she have up her sleeve? Her plan was pretty simple, really, but worked so well! I am wondering though. Was a large cut on her arm required for such a small acting piece? It was a really good cover, to say that she was testing her humanity, but I was just wondering.
Ah Nico. I never know what to think of him. Is he caring or ruthless? Fatherly or psychotic? It's a little disconcerting.
AND THEN THERE'S THE ENDING. O.O I must read on. I don't know how they'll get out of this. I would think Nico would have like a security system or something to prevent escapes, but I am so excited to see what happens next!
Cheers!

~Night

It's okay, glad you're here now :)

Evie literally did have something up her sleeve ;) Haha. I think the plan worked so well is because she played on Nico's weakness, which is his feelings towards her. He feels he needs to protect and take care of her because she is very valuable to him.

The cut was big to be alarming to Nico. It needed to be big enough to cause a noticeable stain on her sleeve and to make Nico have to leave the room to get something to clean it up with. If it had just me like a paper cut, it wouldn't have really done much =/

Nico is all over the place and I do think that adds to his eeriness. You never know what you're going to get with him.

Thanks for the review :D

Sonder replied · Dec 20, 2014

Ohhh okay I get it now. I was thinking that she just needed pain to make herself cry, but that makes a lot more sense. XD
Welcome!

User avatar
KatGirl
Review
KatGirl wrote a review Review · Nov 30, 2014

(I have a character in my book named Eve, almost the same thing as your character!)
To me, this felt simplistic but in a good way. It wasn't too 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! OMG! NO WAY' The beginning made you think that the chapter was going to be normal, that nothing would happen. I really liked how you flipped that to create a twist. (Just a suggestion: perhaps you could put a 'language' warning on here)


Um. I just realized BiscuitsBatchAvoy already nitpicked the only nitpick..so I don't have any D:

This had a very intricate plot! Good luck with your other chapters!

This is definitely one of the more simple chapters of the book :P I didn't even realise there was strong language in this chapter XD I just sort of skim over it. And I don't know how to go back and change the warnings.

Thank you for the review!

User avatar
ExOmelas
Review
ExOmelas wrote a review Review · Nov 29, 2014

'The metal stung her skin' - I think this would be a really great moment to mention how it's different from the burn of silver when she was a vampire. Maybe she misses the pain or something.

'Down there, everything could either perfect, or seriously wrong.' - nooooo you were doing so well. There should be a 'be' between 'either' and 'perfect' and a 'go' between 'or' and 'seriously'.

That is however your only grammar mistake.

Oh my God, you are captivating me more and more with every chapter. I am really starting to like Evie, but I think when you edit the earlier chapters you should make her perhaps less cool, to show that this ordeal has brought out the best in her. I'm thinking Caius should perhaps try to discourage her from setting him free because he's worried about her getting in trouble.

However, you have got Nico. I totally understand what you want me to think of him. He is a very complex character and I think you absolutely nailed him this chapter. Evie's internal monologue is coming along great but sometimes, especially in the first paragraph it's still stilted. Hehe stillstilted.

Very well done! :D

Oooh good point about the metal, I'll add that in. Thank you!

Damn it! So close! But of course one mistake had to go under my radar -.-

Hmm...a few people have told be to downplay Evie's 'coolness' but I guess I can't help it...vampires are just cool XD She was a little less cool before she found Caius again though. Like the way she ordered Michael over just so she could have company and was disheartened by his refusal to drink her tea =/

I might add a bit about Caius' worry for her about what she is doing but he still sees her as his Progeny - someone who is loyal to the end and puts his life before their own. So, for him, it's not a stretch that she would risk a great deal to free him.

Yay for Nico! XD He is complex. I don't want him to be a hated character because he looks evil or he's creepy, I want him to be hated purely on the fact that what he thinks he's doing is right. He's not a horrible person at heart, he's just really passionate about vanquishing vampirism because he thinks it's for the good of - well - the world.

I'll check over the first paragraph ^_^

Thanks again!

"I might add a bit about Caius' worry for her about what she is doing but he still sees her as his Progeny - someone who is loyal to the end and puts his life before their own. So, for him, it's not a stretch that she would risk a great deal to free him." - I've been meaning to talk to you for a while about this. Quite often when I suggest something, you tell me why it's unnecessary.

I want to be clear, that is absolutely fine. It's your story.

The thing is, if I'm not seeing this, neither is a reader. You need to make it clearer that Caius still sees her as a Progeny. It doesn't take much. All you need is a couple of lines of Evie's internal monologue about it.

In Chapter 9 it was mentioned. Caius said, "Be careful. Don't put yourself in danger because of me', to which Evie replied, 'You're my Maker'. The simplicity of the answer was to show that she didn't even have to think twice. She's always put him before herself and that hasn't changed and Caius showed his worry because he does love her on top of her being his Progeny (Well, not anymore...kinda...ish) And you'll understand more about how they both fit in the relationship when the escpe plan progresses :) It is quite an odd relationship XD But that's why I love writing it haha.

e All I'm saying is that you showing me in a comment like this what I've missed doesn't help because you can't do that for an ordinary reader. You need to remind the reader at the right times about things like this because small details can get swallowed up quite easily, especially when the reader is focussing on something else.

I guess it's just different reading something like this, which is being uploaded every few weeks than if you were reading it as a book. Because as a book, that quote only happened like, 3 pages ago. If I remind the reader more constant than that it's like I think they need to be spoon-fed everything. I just like novels that make you think and that everything isn't all on the page for me, they're the novels that impress me. There's meaning behind everything and it's not always going to be in your face. I know this has turned into some sort of debate and I've found its happened a lot with this novel haha, I think people were just expecting something different =/ I want this novel to be more mature than my earlier stuff.



[as a roleplayer is feeling sad about torturing her characters] GrandWild: "You're a writer, dear. Embrace it."
— GrandWild