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Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

The Progeny: Chapter 35

by MissGangamash


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

The three vampires deposited the bodies around the field along with the rifles. Alexander had picked up one of the fallen guns and felt the weight of it, probably wondering if he should add it to his arsenal but then decided against it. Apparently he wasn’t too fond of using guns. He liked a more personal approach. Whatever that meant.

“I would have thought the Nest would have sniffed us out,” said Varsee, swiping sticky blood from her jacket. Hiding all the bodies had taken several trips and every time they disturbed the corpses, the smell of fresh blood filled the air. It blackened Caius’ vision at the edges as the hunger stirred inside. His fangs had unsheathed several times, making Alexander smirk when he caught his eye.

“They’re probably full after jumping my meal,” grumbled Alexander, kicking a corpse in the leg.

“Maybe.” Varsee looked down the field. Now the barn was in full view but they were still a safe distance away. “Let’s hope they’re still around. Come on, we’ve wasted enough time as it is.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Varsee sent her brother a glare before pulling out the handgun that she had stuffed down the back of her leather pants. With a swift head gesture, the three of them started their descent to the barn. Now wielding the gun and stalking across the dewy grass with her shoulders arched, Varsee looked incredibly intimidating. So did Alexander striding by her side with his coat blowing back like a cape, spinning his butterfly knife in his hand with ease. Caius withdrew his stake and curled his fingers around it, hoping he hadn’t gotten himself in too deep.

In the back of his mind there was a nagging voice that told him he should have informed the Court about the Nest when Milah had summoned him but at the time, a Nest full of crazy vampires was the last thing he had been thinking of.

They waited for a moment outside the huge wooden building before edging their way through the open crack of the back door. Caius’ eyes burned when they met the flickering lights of the fires dotted around the huge hollowed out space inside. The fires were contained in bins. Caius figured they were used for a light source as vampires didn’t need the flames for heat.

Three figures huddled around the bin nearest to them, blacked out in stark contrast to the fire. Caius followed Varsee’s lead and slipped soundlessly into the shadows behind a beam. He spotted several more figures sat on the hay strewn ground, chewing on each other’s necks and arms. There were two more beside another bin. He wasn’t sure how many there were all together but he knew they were outnumbered greatly. The Nest were chattering amongst themselves, Caius caught bits of conversations. When he looked back, it was only him and Varsee standing against the wall. Alexander was halfway up the beam, skittering soundlessly like a lizard up a wall. Caius watched as he reached the beam overhead and perched in the corner of it, watching the three Nest vampires below. The shadows concealed him perfectly but the vampires still cocked their heads up in his general direction.

“Smell that?” asked one of them, a male with a gravelly voice.

One of his companions nodded. “Human.”

“No,” said another, a woman, “-vampire.”

“Both?”

The Nest vampires that had been sitting on the floor jumped to attention, their bottomless black eyes searching the darkness. Caius counted eight all together but he was pretty sure there were more he just hadn’t spotted yet. The three vampires under Alexander snapped their heads in Varsee’s and Caius’ direction, readying to advance. Alexander dropped down between them as if falling from the sky, the tail of his coat picking up sawdust as it swished around his ankles.

The three vampires turned back and looked at him, slightly perplexed. In the flickering light of the fire, Caius could see the thick purple veins corded under their eyes, thick and pulsating, and his stomach twisted at the thought that he looked like that when he gave into his hunger. So… inhuman.

“Hey guys,” said Alexander with a rakish grin. “Fancy seeing you here.”

All three vampires hissed and snarled, snapping their fangs and clicking their nails together - which Caius noticed had been filed to deadly points.

One lunged, arms extended to grab Alexander’s throat. But then Alexander ducked, caught the tackling vampire above his knees and flipped him up and over his back. The vampire thudded to the ground in a cloud of sawdust. Alexander spun, now with a stake in his hand, and drove it into the vampire’s chest. He exploded in a vile burst of sticky red goo, splattering up Alexander’s front and painting his face crimson. While distracted, the female vampire dove for Alexander’s back and burst into goo instantly as an explosion rang in Caius’ ears. He spun to see Varsee holding her smoking handgun before she disappeared in a flash.

Alexander grinned at the one remaining vampire in his little group, his white fangs almost glowing in contrast to his bloody face. The dark haired vampire snarled, clicking his nails as he began circling Alexander, ready to leap. But Alexander was faster and had the vampire pinned against his chest from behind in a matter of milliseconds, his head wedged in the crook of his elbow. The vampire snarled and wriggled against him but Alexander lodged his butterfly knife into the side of his neck. The vampire cried, clawing at the arm around his throat. His nails ripped into the thick leather of Alexander’s coat as he dragged the blade sideways. Blood bloomed around the knife and gushed down the vampire’s neck. When he reached the vampire’s Adam’s apple, Alexander dropped the knife. The vampire was gagging on his own blood now as it poured from his mouth and the gruesome open wound across his neck. With a look of manic glee, Alexander dug his fingers into the wound and started yanking upwards, tearing the vampires head from his body before it exploded.

A cry caught Caius’ attention and he snapped his head to the side to see a vampire being dragged back into the shadows by a manicured hand around its ankle. Another cry erupted in the darkness before he heard the gushing sound of another body turning into pulp. The red goo ran out into the light in a shimmering puddle. Caius could smell it, thick and pungent in the air. Vampire blood had the coppery smell of human blood but tainted. It was hard to describe. It just smelt dark and wrong.

Varsee and Alexander continued to massacre the Nest as Caius felt himself drop back against the wall with sudden dizziness. He was transported back in time. Back to when this was a regular occurrence for him. All the blood. All the screams. All the fear. But they were human. The blood, the screams, the almost tangible fear. All of it was human. And Caius had revelled in it. He’d crushed bodies against him and drank from them until they fell limp before he chased down another. Milah had been by his side, smiling like a beautiful devil as she danced and laughed in the moonlight among the dismembered bodies and burned down homes. And when they felt the sun beginning to rise, they’d fall in bed together- painted from head to toe in blood with the life of the fallen running through their veins- and sleep in each other’s arms only to wake and do it all over again.

A searing pain in Caius’ left shoulder yanked him violently out of the past and propelled him back into the present. He cried out and grabbled at the vampire at his side that had imbedded its fangs into him, tearing through his flesh and muscle. Caius managed to grab a fistful of greasy black hair and used his grip to throw the vampire to the ground. His fangs ripped free and the blooming pain made Caius’ vision darken at the edges once more. The vampire spun to push himself back up but Caius stomped on his head with such force that he heard the crack of bones. The vampire fell flat on his stomach but continued clawing at the ground in an attempt to get back up. Before he had a chance, Caius drove his stake between his shoulder blades and the vampire erupted into a bloody mess.

Screams of pain and rage filled the barn. Caius looked up to see Alexander and Varsee back to back in the centre of the collection of fires, fending off crazed Nest vampires with the skill and ease of trained assassins. At this moment, it was two against five. Caius sprang into the melee wielding his slick stake and drove it through the female vampire that had Varsee by both shoulders. Varsee, coated in a mess of black and red vampire goo, smiled at him as the remains of the vampire rained over them, before spinning around, kneeing an oncoming vampire in the stomach and shooting it straight through the temple.

Caius readied himself to help take out the remaining three vampires but there seemed to be no need for him. In a matter of seconds, Alexander had driven his butterfly knife through a vampire’s open mouth and into his brain, and staked another one through the chest while his sister kicked and punched the one attached to his leg until he was weak and bloody before shooting him in the face.

The three of them stood there for a moment with gore dripping from their bodies, before Alexander turned to Caius, his eyes impossibly blue in the darkness. “Finally thought you’d make yourself useful?”

Caius let the stake fall free from his grip and drop to the ground. He felt spent. Vampires didn’t feel exertion but the release of his inner savage nature seemed to have drained him as he came to terms with what had just happened. “Is it over?” he asked.

Varsee surveyed their surroundings, her blonde hair was black with blood and her ponytail had clumped into a thick sticky rope. “It seems so.”

Caius retracted his fangs and looked to the gap in the back door they had come from, fearing that the longer he stayed in these conditions, the more he’d start to like it. It felt familiar and nostalgia was creeping up on him like a dark cloud.

“Damn, you look so hot covered in the blood of our fallen enemies,” Alexander gushed before wrapping his arm around his sister’s waist and tugging her close, pinning her to his chest. A primal growl rumbled deep in Varsee’s throat before she dug her nails into his dank hair and kissed him with bruising passion. Alexander groaned and wrapped his other arm around her. They swayed and rolled against each other in the heat of the kiss, their bodies shimmering in the light of the dancing flames. Suddenly finding himself caught in a very private moment, Caius headed for the door. He listened out for any protests but all he heard was the lustful growls coming from the two lovers behind him. He left them to it and vampire sprinted his way back to the house.

Caius paused at the gate to the farmhouse and attempted to wipe the blood from his face. Everything looked normal. There seemed to have been no intrusions.

As he walked up the path, his clothes heavy and sticking to his body, he thought about Evie and her mistake that had almost cost them their lives. He knew he couldn’t stay mad at her for long. It was Evie, after all. He loved her. But he also knew he couldn’t blindly forgive her for what had happened. She’d learn nothing from that.

He opened the door, leaving a smudged handprint on the handle, and started at the sight of Robin springing up from the sofa brandishing a porcelain Yorkshire Terrier by the head like a weapon. The young vampire froze in a battle stance for a moment before his dark eyes scoped him. “Caius?”

Caius ran his fingers through his long, wet hair and shoved it out of his face. “Yes, it’s me.”

Robin exhaled a sigh of relief and dropped back down onto the sofa, placing the porcelain figure on the coffee table. He had clearly showered. He was clean of blood and his dark brown hair curled on his forehead and under his ears. Caius recognised the big grey and blue jumper he was wearing that had a bold geometric print as one of the pieces of clothing he had found hung up in the wardrobe in his room. The light blue jeans he was wearing must have also been from there.

Robin narrowed his eyes curiously, “Is that?-”

“Vampire goo, yes it is.”

He pulled a face. “Lovely.”

“Did anyone come in? Where’s Evie?”

“No. And upstairs. I think she feels pretty guilty about what happened. She just locked herself away.”

Torn between really needing to wash and wanting to talk to his progeny, Caius paused in the hallway a moment and tugged off his boots before crossing the threshold into the living room. He didn’t want to take any chances and get on Varsee’s bad side by getting blood everywhere. And after seeing her in action, he really needed to play his cards right.

“So, did you kill them all?” asked Robin.

Caius nodded. “We think so. Look, about what happened before-”

“Haven’t I been punished enough? I’ve already missed out on all the fun.”

Caius shook his head. “I don’t want to punish you. I just want to talk.”

“What about?”

Caius scratched his neck in thought, wondering how to start. “First of all, I want to thank you for what you did.”

Robin’s dark eyes shimmered up at him. “What?”

Caius half smiled. “You did save us, after all. It just… wasn’t in the way I hoped for.”

“But I don’t know what else you would have expected me to do.”

“Compel them, maybe.”

“Compel them? Oh, you mean the eye thing. Sorry, I completely forgot I could do that now.”

“I should teach you sometime.”

Robin smiled.

“The reason I was so mad was because, well, what did it feel like? Killing those men. How did it make you feel?”

Robin looked down guiltily and started playing with his cuff. “It felt good.”

Caius nodded sadly. “See, that’s what I was afraid of. Once you get a taste for it, it’s hard to stop.”

Robin shook his head vigorously and looked back up. “It didn’t feel good ending those men’s lives. It felt good because I was doing it for you.”

Caius was stunned to silence. Robin continued, “I didn’t really understand this bond thing we share at first. I thought it made me, like, idolise you and make me think that you could do no wrong. But when you all went off and you told me to stay here, I was pissed. Like, so fucking mad at you. When I punched that wall I was imagining it was your face.” His tight, angered expression softened. “But then, when I was here waiting for you lot to come back and I felt you inside my head. I could hear you.” He gestured to the back of his head. “When you said you needed me, there was nothing in the world that would have stopped me. I mean, I’m guessing that is to do with the bond, because there aren’t that many people in the world that I care about enough to help. But at that moment I truly realised what you had meant when you were talking me through turning into a vampire. I felt like if I didn’t save you, if you died, a part of me would die, too. And I just couldn’t let that happen.” He looked down to the floor, hiding the emotion in his eyes. “That need to tear those men apart wasn’t from some primal part of me that wanted blood on my hands. It was my loyalty to you. I did it all for you.”

There was a clatter behind Caius and the sound of stumbling steps. He turned to see Alexander and Varsee falling into the hallway in each other’s arms. They were laughing and kissing and stumbling around like a pair of drunks.

Alexander pushed himself off her slightly and tucked a sticky red strand of hair behind his ear. “I’m going to take a shower and attempt to get this off.”

Varsee grinned showing bloody teeth and nibbled his jaw tenderly. “I’ll join you.”

He growled and tugged her close again before they vampire sprinted up the stairs in a red and black blur.

“…Aren’t they brother and sister?”

Caius laughed and looked back to Robin. “Vampire brother and sister. They have the same Maker.”

“Oh,” nodded Robin, looking a little confused. “Well, looks like you’ll be waiting a while before you can get all that crap off you.”

Caius looked down at himself with a frown. “I guess so.”

“What was it like, the Nest?”

Caius held back a shudder. “Like being in the Rage all over again.”

“Oh yeah, I heard about the Rage. They made us study it in school. Probably to make us fear vampires but I thought it was pretty awesome. I was only three when it happened so I don’t remember it.”

“You’re lucky.”

“My mum said a vampire killed our neighbours right in front of her,” Robin said, sounding detached. “Blood everywhere.”

“I just hope there’re no more Nests around. Vampires are treated badly enough as it is. We don’t need them blackening our names even more.”

Robin nodded dismally. “We were taught not to trust them yet in another lesson we’d be told that discrimination was wrong. It was just all so backwards, we didn’t know what to think. Have you had trouble being a vampire in this society?”

Caius looked to his progeny in awe. He was constantly surprised by the wisdom and understanding in a boy of such a young age and it was making him renew his faith in humanity today. “No. Not really. But that’s because Evie and I pretended to be human to avoid all of that stuff. It was just easier.”

Robin frowned. “That sucks, dude. I’d never pretend to be something I’m not. Even though being the person I am doesn’t really do me any favours.” He laughed hollowly. “At least I’m still me.”

Caius watched him for a moment as he picked at a frayed bit of his cuff. “I’ve been alive for a thousand years. To be honest, I don’t even know who I actually am anymore. Being an ancient, you outlive yourself. Time changes you. And too much time… well, it can rip you apart and mould you into something else entirely.”

Robin nodded. “I see that.” He looked up to his Maker. “There’s sadness in your eyes. Like you’ve lived too long and seen too much. I see it in Varsee, too.”

Caius looked up the stairs as if to catch a glimpse of Varsee, the ancient that was even older than he was. “You might love being a vampire now, Robin,” he said, turning back. “But there will come a time in your immortal life where you will wish for your humanity. Vampirism is a curse, Robin, and I am so sorry I have bestowed it upon you.”


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94 Reviews


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Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:01 pm
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deleted868 wrote a review...



Hello there again! So as of right now, I've read the prologue, chapter one, chapter thirty-four, and this one. Oops. I really do want to read the other chapters, but I gotta give you a good review first. Once again I'm going to be trying to talk more about the overall chapter, not just how you advanced the plot and everything, but I'll try to do my best to analyze your story either way. I really like your vampire world, so I'll try not to let you down.

This chapter was nice and long, which I enjoyed, but I think some of the paragraphs were too long, and they distracted me at some points from the story. I know that some of them held a lot of dialogue, but I still think you can cut certain ones down and not take away from the story. The one thing I'd reccomnd you try to do is shorten a few of your sentences, as I think some are are just much too long and read a run-on sentence, which although it's fine if the reader doesn't really pick up on it, it's not the nicest thing in the world to read very long sentences in very long paragraphs. Lastly, I'd say that there are plenty of sentences that you can easily combine into a simple compound sentence, or even into complex sentences.

All in all, I can't write fight scenes anyways, so I liked it, and I love all of your characters so much even though I've only read four chapters overall. Whoops. I hope this review can help you, but I'm sorry if if I couldn't write too much about the actual plot. I love it, but I barely know anything about it, so yeah. Great job either way!






Hello! I'm glad the chapters you have read make you want to read the whole thing, that's a good sign :)

I'll keep what you've said about paragraphs and sentences in mind when I re-edit.

I hope to see more of your thoughts when you do read the chapters in order haha. You'll be able to comment on more things.

Thanks for the review!



deleted868 says...


Alright sweet! You're very welcome! And yeah I can't wait either XD



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Mon Nov 28, 2016 1:18 am
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Sonder wrote a review...



Hey Ganga. I'm sorry for taking so long to review, and I apologize again because this will be very short. Life is insane right now and exams are approaching, so I may not be around much at all until winter break.

Anyway. I read through this and other than a few run-on sentences, which I think you'll smooth out on your own when you're on the second draft or whatever, there were no grammatical errors that I caught.
I'm gonna be completely honest here: I felt that the fight with the Nest was anticlimactic. You had a few chapters build up to it, there was the whole tense scene in the last chapter with the men, but when they finally get to the Nest... there's no sense of danger. I felt no real concern for the characters, because they won all too easily. It was gory, there was fighting, but there was no risk. Heck, Caius was even having flashbacks for part of it. I felt that this was the classic case of Mary Sueism. Your characters are never truly in danger because they're just too awesome, and because of this, the reader is not engaged. It didn't make much sense intellectually either: even if Alex and Varsee are stronger and faster than the Nest vamps, they are still vastly outnumbered. No one was even hurt, save a little bite in Caius at the beginning. Even if this scene is vastly fictional, it needs to have a sense of realism to draw the reader in. Too outlandish, and you lost me.
Another thing with the fight scene: it read likes choreography for a film. This would work if you were making a fight scene in a movie, but it doesn't read right for this medium. I found this article helpful if you're interested: https://www.standoutbooks.com/heres-how ... ght-scene/

Again, it felt anticlimactic that Caius would just walk back to the house afterwards like no biggie, chat with Robin about his feelings, and feel bad about Evie- which has happened how many times? I think the biggest problem that I'm seeing is that the novel sometimes feels a bit detached. The fight scenes happen, a down scene happens, repeat. How can you make them feel more connected? Can you make these scenes have more consequence on the characters?

Unrelated: Caius is such an encouraging fellow to his new progeny. XD "Vampirism is a curse, Robin, and I am so sorry I have bestowed it upon you." Haha. Yikes. I know he was thinking it, but I didn't think he'd say it straight to Robin's face. :P

Hope none of this came off too harsh. I'm going for constructive feedback. As always, thanks for sharing!

Keep writing!

~Night






Hello!

Damn I was proud of that fight scene, which are the bane of my existence! Anyhooo, the chorographical element was intentional. Alexander and Varsee have been fighting side by side for many years so now fighting to them has become a routine, almost like a dance. Yes, they are outnumbered, but the Nest are feral whereas Alexander and Varsee are skilled and sober. If you remember when Evie was attacked by the Nest, they just ripped into her, no words, no plan, they just wanted to get at her. I have edited it a little so there is some more danger but I did want it to be shown that, even though the three of them our outnumbered, Varsee, Alexander and Caius have the upper hand. Hell, Varsee and Caius are ancients! The best of the best, (even if Caius didn't end up doing much)

And about my characters being too awesome, that all changes very soon. That's all I'm saying ;)

Haha, Caius is not very encouraging when it comes to being a vampire. He hates being one and he's not one to pretend like everything is all sunshine and rainbows. He needs to keep Robin on the straight and narrow. He's worried that if Robin enjoys his new immortality too much, he'll end up apathetic to humans like Alexander.

You never come across too harsh. Everything you say is taken into account, don't worry about it! Thanks for sticking with this and don't worry if it takes you a while to review. Focus on your exams!

Thank you again for reviewing!




I always knew that deep down in every human heart, there is mercy and generosity. No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.
— Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom