What we are

So totally true. I love how you worded it very delicately in the beginning but in the end you were just blunt about it; how you did it really worked. I really like this piece because it screams truth in every stanza, and i think with how you worded it, that it flowed really nicely with what you were trying to get across. Overall a well written piece, though , and i really like it.

--Ash

Hi, Dragon. Great poem, and don't worry the ryhme scheme wasn't messed up. It could usea little tweaking, but it's not bad.

DragonWriterFanatic wrote:ok, I know the rhyme scheme is messed up but I like it this way. It gives it a twist.

Spoiler

I think this is about becoming a teenager, but truly, i don't really know.

We are amazing;
No, we are not.

On the inside, we dream,
on the outside, we rot.

We are what we are,
through and through.

It's happening to me,
it's happening to you. That i needs to be capitalized.

Why? I really don't know-
It was just meant to be so. I think this would sound better if you changed It was just to It's.

How does it stop? I can not say-
Else I would keep the bad dreams away. I think it would flow better if you changed Else I would to Or I'd....

You can't change the world,
And much less yourself.

What am I?
... Well, I am just myself. Nice ending; very profound. :)

Thanks for the reviews everyone! Greatly appreciated!

DragonWriterFanatic wrote:ok, I know the rhyme scheme is messed up but I like it this way. It gives it a twist.

Spoiler

I think this is about becoming a teenager, but truly, i don't really know.

We are significant;
No, we are not.( the flow could have been improved here)

On the inside we dream,
on the outside we rot.( very good)

We are what we are,
through and through.

It's happening to me,
it's happening to you.

Why? I really don't know-
It was just meant to be so.

How does it stop? I can not say-
Else I would keep the bad dreams away.

You can't change the world,
And much less yourself.

What am I?
... Well, I am just myself.

DragonWriterFanatic wrote:ok, I know the rhyme scheme is messed up but I like it this way. It gives it a twist.

Spoiler

I think this is about becoming a teenager, but truly, i don't really know.

Hm, you wrote a poem that you don't know what it's about? Interesting. It must mean something! You chose these words, you wrote it!

We are asleep-
No, we are not. ?

On the inside we dream,
on the outside we rot. Like!

We are what we are,
through and through.

It's happening to me,
it's happening to you.

Why? I really don't know-
It was just meant to be so.

How does it stop? I can not say-
Else I would keep the bad dreams away.

You can't change the world,
And much less yourself.

What am I?
... Well, I am just myself.

Can I just point out how incredably true that is? Yes, I think I can.