Young Writers Society

helloo
I'll be your reviewer for today I'm not really good at reviewing though..but I am going to try anyway.
I want to start off with saying that I really love this poem..It's beautiful and It's good that someone wrote a poem for those people to honor them, because they deserve it!
Here are just some little things I would change:

This is for all the heroes, the ones
who save others and put their life
#FF0000 ">There's no need to put space between these two parts
on the line for those who they've
never met. This is for them.

This is for the 337 men,
women, and children
#FF0000 ">No need to put space here either
who died in the southern
tornadoes or in result of them.

The people who tore through thrash,
the people who helped the others
#FF0000 ">No space needed
instead of turning their back to their
city, their people in order to save themselves.

This is too for those who didn't pass away,
for those who are still struggling
#FF0000 ">No space needed
to survive everyday life. This is
for the hidden heroes, those
#FF0000 ">No space needed
people who did anything, gave anything,
to save the lives of others.

This is for the men and women who
spent seconds, minutes, hours, days,
#FF0000 ">No space needed
searching for other survivors
and saving them. Those people
#FF0000 ">No space needed
who almost killed themselves, working
so hard to save whatever was spared.

Thank you. We all love you.

Howdy, MilkNCookies! Walker here with a review so I hope you don't mind!

So, I'm thinking we'll have to start off this little diddy with a compliment. Nice topic choice. Its awesome to see poetry that isn't about being mundane or having no friends or loving and losing. It gets boring and overdone. You give a spirited impression of what you are feeling towards a certain subject that ascertains to nowadays. Thats pretty awesome .

Now, onto my critique!

Firstly, what I noticed to be a little irritating with this poem is how you spaced it. I'm sure you were trying for a certain kind of affect by giving the two-lined sort of stanza but you don't finish your lines so you leave the reader dangling. By dangling, I mean you cut the flow completely which isn't, in any case, good. So bring this back to normal stanza mode. I'd like to see fuller ones when it comes to the topics and the style in which you wrote this.

Secondly, I'd like to touch up on your imagery and poetic license, or lack there of. What you have in ideas, you lack in what makes a poem a poem. We want to see the feeling not in straight up 'this is for' but in eloquent words that create and impassion. That makes us feel for the people you speak, or make the people you speak towards feel appreciated. By just saying 'this is for' doesn't make this poem any more of a poem nor does it prove what you're trying to make people feel.

So, what I'm going to have to say is jazz this up. Give us some emotion and make us feel for the awesome things that this men and women have done. Don't just give us a little 'this is for' but a whole blown beautiful picture of the awesomeness that they have done. All we have right now is what appears to be the ending of a speech that was spaced out rather strangely. That and your vocabulary needs to grow a bit if you're wanting to write a longer piece of poetry, or any poetry for that matter. To a writer, words are our tools of choice. We should use the best ones we've got, should we not?

So keep trying! The potential is there. You just have to start refining!
~Walker

This is ok. Kind of bland, but it's alright. My best friend's town was hit in Alabama. I was hoping for something different out of this. Something more than "thank you". Something that showed more heart filled appreciation. Not just "thanks", but I'm glad someone's taken the time to write about this.

Keep writing.

xoxo,
Kiicoh.