Don't hurt the dead man,
it really wasn't his fault.
Don't mourn the dead king,
he was too young anyways.
Don't kill the living children,
they didn't choose to be born.
Don't ambush the women,
all they do is sit and sew.
Don't hunt down the dogs,
they have no part in this battle.
Don't attack the poor stallions,
they did not mean to hurt you.
Don't blame anyone not a single one,
for the crimes you deal yourself.
This darkness, murk in the water,
is from your own sucess.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I really liked this poem... It flowed well and had a great concept. If you wer bored, well done. And I would love to see what your writing is like when you are not.
There is a good emotion coming from the poem, but it is not as strong as it could be. I would suggest trying to add a little more emotion to the words, and then focus on word choice.
But this is really good, and I like the flow. (:
What I really love about this poem is that it starts off with saying who is innocent but then it really packs the punch and delivers the punch line. I do not know what the overall meaning is. Another thing I like about it is that all the verses are short, snappy and sweet. They don't drag on to long. It isn't very descriptive but it certainly gets the point across!
The poem flows well. I enjoyed your concept of blunt statements. This idea really makes the poem work. As for the amount of emotion put into the poem, I think it is fine, but the meaning is a little unclear. This may be your intention? I am looking forward to reading more of your works in the near future.
Good job, Mate.
Wow, Dragon
This was a wonderful poem, if you did this when you were bored I wonder what you can write when you aren't. I could actually feel quite a bit emotion in it, but not much. You could probably try and add a bit more feel than this monotonous kind of thing, but I don't mean to be offensive. Trust me, I actually loved this.
Brilliant, just brilliant.
Write on,
Wisp