Help! Help! Help!
I'm being eaten!
It's a creature with
talons, teeth, claws,
Feathers, fur,
hoofs, feelers,
red, blue, purple,
green, pink, brown.
This creature is so
scary, I'm sure it's
from the pages of
a scary Sci-Fi book,
It's devouring me alive,
I don't know what to do.
Help! Help! Help!
It's gobbling me up,
Like a snake eats a mouse,
Bear eats a deer,
wolf eats a boar,
dog eats a cat,
like how humans
eat french-fries.
It's so scary, help!
I'm surely going to die!
Wait, you want to
know where I'm at?
I'm near the place
where that guy- *gulps*
I never knew it was so
dark inside a stomach!
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139,430 Literary Works • 672,563 Reviews
I definately like what you did with this poem! Especially because it actually made me smile (when I'm not really in a smiling mood...).
But wait...do bears eat dears? Hit me through the computer if you think what I just said was dumb. *Thinks* Wow. I never knew that.
Anyway, yes I understand what you were doing and I really like where the narrator get swallowed up.
Keep 'em coming!:)
This is a very amusing piece, I must say. I also have to admit that as I read certain lines of this poem, certain film titles actually jumped out at me.
How this reminds me of that scene from Cloverfield, where the guy with the camera suddenly gets eaten by the creature. I almost thought that this poem was pretty much written by him. lol
Eaten Alive! Lol - cliche that this may remind me of a film about cannibals.
This sounds so much like The Human Centipede.
Anyway, that’s enough of me babbling on. The poem... [clears throat]
Very amusing and cleverly written. Funny in some places and also completely random. This is a good piece. Keep up the great work!
Ha ha ha
Xx
the title drew me to this
I like it! It's real' good - it reminds me of a kind of childhood myth or something; like the Loch Ness Monster.
I can't see anything to criticise, anyway - it's really fun to read and the describing words you've used are really appropriate and child-like
Well Done, I lurrvve it
I can't say that this poem was really all that good.
You broke into a new paragraph in all the wrong places, it wasn't that good of a topic, it was kind of bland, and it really bored me. Seriously, I didn't even finish reading it. It may have been because it was boring and it may have been because it's eleven at night, but I think it may be both.
I wasn't really that big a fan of the words you used, the description you used, nor did I like how choppy it was.
Sorry that I only critisized you, but I hope it helps
This poem was amusing, but really very weak. I see in it no imagery that stands out, nor anything particularly great about it.
This stanza structure weakens the flow and takes, what I see as amusing, down a level. Some of the references aren't that great either:
That doesn't go along with anything else there.
Also some of the other stanzas and sentences do not flow:
Like should be at the front of every line so it flows better.
Overall I do not like this poem. I like the idea. I like what you attempted to do, but the end result did not produce what I see as good poetry. Add more concrete imagery and language that is not as simplistic as the language here (not to say that simple language should not be used occasionally). Keep writing.
I love it. It's funny, whitty, aand fun overall. There is only one thing I'd look at.
Right there I wasn't sure if it was the man gulping or the creature.
I loved this poem so much! It was so amusing and it is possibly my favorite poem! And when you wrote like how humans eat french fries that was hilarious! Lets get to the point though. You had amazing sensory that was actually funny, and you used correct grammar and spelling. I wouldn't change a thing about this poem! Keep up the great poetry!
Wow, I liked this, it was really amusing.
Kept me giggling all the way through and it has some strong imagery in it which was used with simple detail. I also liked the structure as I found it worked well and kept a good even pace in this piece of poetry.
I really loved this:
It certainly put a smile on my face.
Overall a very amusing piece full of well placed detail and I hope to read more like it.
Well done and hope you keep up with the funny poetry.