I have an unanswerable question. Am I socially inept? Theres a solution that I have yet too accept.
I don't know if it's what gets me down, but in the social domain its a routineless clown.
A catch-twenty-two I have yet to go through. A small caliber bounce in my brains tomb, the only one who can catch it is an archeologist, preoccupied with a broom.
So why isn't a single tear dropped? Has my desire to love been topped?
By nails that my brain drove into the coffins twisted knot?
I have no frame of reference, I wish I knew why not. But my ego's still stuck in its comforting cot.
Because Im three people in my status quo of malarkey , the progenitor, the non-sequeter and the senator who's opinion reigns over my oligarchy.
He wont let them pass, so Ill use sheer power of mass,
to smuggle an omnibus through, carrying remedies that allow me to absorb you.
So as the water leaves my body Ill become hyper-socio-typical, diluting my self-strained relationship, and as my body becomes chiefly a tincture, Ill learn about hyperbole and self-medication, discredit it, forget it because its just a vacation.
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Canary word: Present
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,851 Reviews
I may be wrong, but the way I see it you see yourself as a puzzle. One even you have yet to solve. You feel like your weird because you don't exactly get the same meanings everyone else does. Judging by the line that states "the only one who can catch it is an archeologist, preoccupied with a broom." You've been thinking about this for a while, and you've grown tired of waiting for not only yourself, but the person you feel will help you. The way you wrote it, at this point the only person you feel will understand you is the love of your life. However even that theory is drawing thin after so many "self-strained relationships" as you wrote it. While you may be sick of your thought process you are also quite comfortable with it (if that makes any sense).However, you only think about this on your free time, and when you aren't you shove to the back of your mind. Anyways loved the poem keep calm and write on!!! =^_^=
Yes those are some of the main points
.Thanks for the review.
Hey, yo, LanguidLiger! Strangelove here on this PokeReview Day and I have a review for you!
Before I go onto all the nitpicks, analysis, and my interpretations, I need to comment on what's best about this poem. Your style. See, you can make a great film (Apocalypse Now, for example) and pair it with a bad director (Uwe Bol). It relies on who makes it, and their style. Your style is really good. Shocked me, because I've read countless poems on here, each with pzazz. What you have is interesting. You don't break it down in stanzas, which some do. You make big long lines with simple rhyming schemes. You could go on a big rant, yet never lose me. Your vocabulary is really big. Big and great. You go right above the line of simple vocabulary, yet you never can lose the reader. References, all the words. I loved that factor of it. Even your artistic style, which a lot use, is impressive.
The idea is executed fluently. You pack a punch. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. That was really impressive.
You do lack apostrophes for conjunction words and spaces after periods. Fix those and you'll do good.
My favorite part?
That sums it up, the emotion. You set it up for a nice roller coaster ride that goes through fluently. I also love the book, so I may be biased on that factor.
Overall, fantastic job.
Strangelove gives you..
9.8/10
Good job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.
#TeamPlasmaStruck
Thank you. If I can stop being so lazy your nitpicks will be put to good use
Wow! Awesome poem! I really love it! When I saw the title, I as intrigued. When I clicked on it, and I read it, and I was like, wow! I am so glad I read this! There are some mistakes. You said socio instead of social. Also, when you said, to smuggle an omnibus through, carrying remedies that allow me to absorb you, you began that sentence in a lower case, not an uppercase. Overall, it's awesome! I like the vocabulary you used. You put it under the correct genres and the correct rating. Your beginning sentence is flawless. Good job with that. Good job with everything! I will look fore more of your stories. Don't give up and always write!
They used Socio on purpose. It's not supposed to be social
True. Thank you for noticing.