xox

Hey SparkToFlame!

I thought this was amazing! I liked how you made it sound as if someone was just talking, it didn't exactly sound like a poem, (but don't take that the wrong way, it was a compliment ). I also loved how you put those little parts in parentheses, it just kind of added that little, "Just to let you know" kind of thing, and I thought that was really unique. I guess I just liked it overall, and I don't have anything bad to say about it! So, I loved the concept, I loved the story, and I loved just... everything! I can't wait to read the next piece that you publish!

keep writing,

kitty4111

Hey Spark.

I don't think I've ever seen you write satire. I rarely review it. I was about to say I don't quite get this poem or what you were trying to do, then I checked the genre real quick and noticed "oh this is supposed to exaggerate now some of these things make sense".

Tiny little flow thing because even when you're making fun of cliches flow is important: you repeat "true" twice in five words, rending the sentence awkward. You also have "letter" and "grammar", which in my syntax is an exact rhyme of "er" despite the spelling differences. This sets me up for a rhyming poem and you're very much not rhyming with the rest, taking words that feel blunt for the rest of the poem. Not to say the bluntness is bad. Just that it jars with your first two opening lines.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I like it because there's a touch of whimsy, but the line lengths are a little hamper stance, as are the stanza lengths. I think this is a good satire but not the strongest poem. Little things are there to say yes, this is a satire, but you have some point blank lines like "true romance is dead" which feels a little too at home and a little too blunt for my liking. It's heard time and again by cynics and satirists and it's one of those lines that defines the modern age and the mid 1900s and any time since people have been talking about love, really. It sticks out of the poem and gives such an unfocused image in a sharp juxtaposition to the exact details you've given us everywhere else in the poem.

You've got blunted nuance and a concept which I'm fairly in love with, but I think it could use a little bit of polish. I'd actually add bluntness so they really juxtapose the whole idea that this is a satire relying on cliches; your nuanced images are so strong and quirky and just generally there that bluntness adds to the satire.

Overall, this is enjoyable and I have a feeling it'll actually stick in memory at least in part, but it's not quite doing it for me. I feel it needs a little more (or a little less), to really hit the mark.

~Rosey

this is my new favorite of yours. it fires on all cylinders on all the right speeds.

Hey there! I really like this poem! I love all the different aspects, how the stanzas are formatted, and the love letter! Great job! I enjoy the way you portrayed the letter, and the terrible writing of it! I really liked the way the main character felt about everything, and laughed at the "cross the t's and dot the i's)... very witty! Man... you sure know how to write a humorous poem! *laughs* On to the content of the poem, I liked how cute and funny it was. I usually don't like when there's parentheses, but I liked the way you used it this time around. Thumbs up to you for doing that the right way! Finally, I know that you don't need proper grammar, spelling, and capitalization, so I won't vex you on that... yet. I seriously loved every part of it! All in all, adorable poem! You made my day~ Thanks for writing this, and have a great day!