Young Writers Society

Hi there giving you a quick review!

Okay so first of all this is a great piece and it is very sweet. This may or may not be a part of
a memory that you once had but it seems that you hold a very good feeling towards this.
This is a very sweet poem and it honestly think that it would be great in a romantic part of a movie but that's me. I must say that I really admire your work. I guess that's all I really have
to write as of now but great job and keep writing. I look forward to seeing more of your work. Have a great day!

This is short, but so sweet! I think it tells a story of a short moment which had a bigger memory, and lasting impact. That's the good thing about poetry, you can perceive it different ways but with the same key idea. It's a neat theme too since the seasons changing are sneaking up on us already. I really enjoyed this, hopefully I can take away some inspiration from it. I admire your work!

I especially like the line:

"You tasted of ice and winter-- I'm sorry Christmas never come for you."
That was perfect and fit in nicely!

Again, great job! I love your account!!

This is very sweet and cute. Now I'm in the mood for Christmas cookies all of a sudden.

Why does the other person mentioned in the poem never get a Christmas? Do they not celebrate it? Are they dead? It seems odd to insert such a potentially tragic rhyme into a cute and short poem like this one.

I also have a little complaint about the ending. It's an adorable ending, don't get me wrong, but the last two lines both end with the same word. That's one of my pet peeves.

SparktoFlame,

This is so cute, especially the ending, but I just have a knack for endings.

When I read your first line, it reminded me of hanging ornaments on Christmas tree. So when you said you kissed their cheeks till they were pink, I kind of thought of it like lighting up the tree. I like that connection that you gave to me.

You mentioned your condolences for them never getting a Christmas. Now, I didn't really know what this meant and it'd be super great if you could clear that up for me!

"you blinked the flakes away and kissed me on the lips,"

This line caught me off guard, almost ironic. When you hung the snowflakes on their eyelashes, you can tell it was out of love or adore-ness(?) (I don't know the right form of that word xD ) So to read that those snowflakes were blinked away, sounds like your love was being rejected, but obviously, over the next couple of words, it's the exact opposite of what that implies, because then you are kissed on the lips. See, I don't know if you want it like this or if I'm just reading into it too much. I don't know, maybe that's the whole point, that it can be deceiving. But just in case that's not what you wanted, I would say something like, "the flakes on your lashed melted away", maybe something along those lines. All up to you though.

Overall, I really do like this. It's great, I love the Christmas and love tie-together.

Keep expressing.

-Percybeth

This is so short, so simple, yet also so effective and beautiful. At first I thought you had put this in the short story category and I was confused but then I realized it was a poem and awww it's so pretty. I especially love love LOVE the last line. I think everyone would love to hear their boyfriend/girlfriend say that the other is the best cookie ever to be tasted. I would certainly love that comparison. Great job! Keep writing!