I don't write love poems,
silly cliches that barely
pass as a life form on planet
YWS.
I wouldn't cross my raves on
predictable lines, with a couplet about
the way your 'eyes pierce' like
'moon shine'. I'm KatTrain of YWS,
way too sophisticated for THAT line.
I can't write a love poem because
that would be admitting I'm just
like all those stupid ballads and
my pride as a poet would
dissipate surely....
(But I'd really like to write a love poem)
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139,639 Literary Works • 672,637 Reviews
It made me laugh, even just the title
I agree with everything the first person had to say. Seeing YWS kinda threw me off for some reason, was debating whether to read it as Young Writer's Society, or YWS. :S The last stanza does need a bit of fixing I agree, you can't compare yourself to the ballads! Otherwise nice poem, fairly original.
This is adorable! I agree with the above comment that having YWS on its own line in the first stanza is a little awkward.
Loving the hint at internal rhyme there
I think you could even stand to lengthen this poem a bit, but it's not necessary. It would be interesting to know why exactly you feel this way about love poems - but really, the poem is still wonderful by itself. Keep up the good work!
Is this a real poem or just telling us about you in a poemtic way? Lol but I did like it! I pretty much suck at writing love poems...well any poems really; however, I enjoy reading poems! Don't give up, 'cause I'm not!(:
- Justis
P.S. Keep on writing!
Hello Kat! I really enjoyed reading your poem. It has a unique idea. Loved it really...
I'm not much of a reviewer really. Just lingering about to read.
Keep writing!
This made me smile. And not many poets have managed to do that! I really enjoyed this little bit. It was definitely different (which is good!!) and it was entertaining. I liked the shortness, because it just makes it seem like you're SO impatient with love poems (which is basically all that's in my portfolio D:). I LOVE how at the bottom you turned everything you said backwards with just a few simple words, contradicting nearly everything you said before at once. If only everyone could be so creative! Keep Writing! This was great!
~Lukan~
Hi KatTrain! I like this, and I definitely think it's cute. I just wrote you this whole long elaborate review, but in my lack of computer sense I managed to lose it. So, please disregard my brashness, as I'm attempting to rewrite this review as quickly and efficiently as possible.
In the first stanza, I can't help but notice that "YWS" is on a separate line. Was this on purpose? I think it messes up the enjambment a bit.
In the second stanza, did you mean "couplet"? "Couple" would work, but I just think "couplet" would fit better.
In the third stanza, you compare yourself to all those stupid ballads. You're a human being, are you not? Perhaps you mean to compare your poetry to all those stupid ballads.
I hope this helps! Keep writing!
- Abigail