I wander under the willow tree,
And brush my hand across the leaves,
Where all is hushed,
And naught is rushed,
My quiet place at the willow tree.
.
I lean against the willow tree,
And lazily watch a bumblebee,
As he dips and sways,
In the afternoon haze,
At my tranquil place: the willow tree.
.
I climb up high in the willow tree,
For a passing moment of being free,
The wind in my hair,
And the sky everywhere,
My wild place at the willow tree.
.
I cry against the willow tree,
When everyone else has forsaken me,
When others mock,
And throw their rocks,
My constant place is the willow tree.
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Canary word: Present
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Like sincerelymayhem, I really enjoy the rhyme scheme. I can totally relate, except my secret place is the roof of my house. It's nice to get away and be alone with your thoughts. But anyway, that's really what I enjoy seeing in writing: being able to relate to it. Great writing, no grammatical mistakes that I can spot, and again, nice use of the writing scheme. Keep up the good work!
~Chocolate Llama
This is wonderful. I've been there. I have a holly tree that is my special "secret place". Sometimes I talk to it in my head, just to get things out. Your writing is amazing! I don't have any critism.
Thanks. I'm thinking about adding a few more stanzas. Have any suggestions?
I love the classic rhyme scheme of this. It made the poem flow a lot smoother than a poem without a rhyme scheme. You made me feel like MY constant place needed to be the willow tree. You were able to take the reader to right under a willow tree and I could swear I heard the bee buzzing by my ear! I really really enjoyed this poem, keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
Mayhem.
Hi Tulip here to give you a review. This poem is well written. Not to long but not too short. I loved this poem for the simple fact that you did add in the fact of imagery. It is on point and not to light nor is it too overwhelming. You have a good balance.
My favorite stanza is he second one because of its simplicity. The other ones are swell but the second one called out to me the most.
Sorry but j have to cut it short. On my phone and have to leave to go somewhere soon.
~Tulip
Amazingly done... *claps*
Wow. You are fast.
^.^ That I am. Haha.