Hold me gently,
Hug me tightly,
Touch me softly,
Dip me slowly,
Twirl me tenderly,
Kiss me earnestly,
Tell me truthfully,
Help me patiently,
Show me silently,
Guide me steadily,
Ask me lovingly,
Support me constantly,
Treat me respectfully,
Cherish me continually,
Comfort me soothingly,
Love me unconditionally,
And I will never let you go.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
Hey Joy!
Wow. I love this poem. I especially love the last part when you say: "Love me unconditionally,
And I will never let you go."
I must ask...How do you know so much about this topic?!? I loved how you took all your knowledge of a deep relationship and wrote it down for others too enjoy.
This is a great piece! I look forward to reading more!
~Elephant
Ooooh, adverbs!
Hey there. I'm Lyrical Rebel and I will review this beautiful work of yours.
I did not see anything gramatically wrong in this poem and I congratulate you for that. The only thing I would like to suggest is you can definitely use more powerful words that can maintain the emotional intensity of the message. What I'm trying to say is that you started off very strong and passionate but you ended the poem using light words that aren't as overwhelming as the previous ones. When something like this happens, people expect more from the ending and as the emotions lessen, other readers might tire out of reading. Don't get me wrong. I like your work. All in all, it's a winner.
Honestly, this poem is fascinating. It made me smile so thank you for making my day.
I felt the love, happiness and longing in this poem. It's something everyone can relate to and the fact that you have depicted such a wonderful message using a few simple words is great. Good job. I hope you continue writing.
nice poem, very... descriptive i think the word is. The
part was weird though. was it refering to dancing? this could be better, i couldnt think of a better word though, so /: really good poem though keep goingA few of the lines are referring to dancing. I'll work to make that more apparent.
Thanks so much for the comments.
no problem
(didn't count as a review, danget)
If you want to you can post it again, but as a review this time. I wouldn't care.
there werent enought letters
Ah. That's a bummer.
Next time, right?
every other review XD
Hello, Ashkitten here for a review.
Im going to commend you first on your ability to capture the best things about a deep relationship in this poem and essentially everything everyone would want in a deep relationship as well. I like how you found perfect words, to describe love, and how they built on eachother. I also love how relatable this poem is. Great work and I look forward to reading more of your writing.
This is my favorite line from the poem, because words can only say so much but "show me", that means way more than words!
Love it!
Hey,
I love the way you put a perfect relationship into words. This poem is so simple and I think that is one of the really beautiful things about it. It says a lot (love is never easily described), but doesn't fall over it's own feet trying.
I wouldn't have minded seeing a couple breaks in rhyme and rhythm. It would keep the readers attention and draw them forward into the poem.
But as I said...this is a beautiful poem. Well done.
Write on.
I really enjoyed this poem. I loved how you found so many words to describe what love is. I usely don't go for the romantic poems, but this one gave my butterflies. I agree with reet3103 that giving this poem at story line would make it even more fantastic then it already is. Other than that I wouldn't change a thing.
Great job.
Keep on writing.
I really enjoyed this poem. I loved how you found so many words to describe what love is. I usely don't go for the romantic poems, but this one gave my butterflies. I agree with reet3103 that giving this poem at story line would make it even more fantastic then it already is. Other than that I wouldn't change a thing.
Great job.
Keep on writing.
Hey.
What just happened? Your poetry just won my heart
"gently, tightly, softly, slowly, tenderly, earnestly,truthfully, patiently,silently,steadily,lovingly,constantly,respectfully,continually,soothingly,unconditionally"
They rhymed, and the lines also made perfect sense, something that all people cannot do. Really, I would love it if you add more to this.
Andddd, please please give more reason to it. Like, more content, history, something of that sort.
Good job.
Keep writing and stay blessed.
xoxo
Thanks for commenting, Reet!
When you say "give more reason" do you mean add a sort of story line or do you just mean add more detail? This was kind of a spur-of-the-moment poem and I'm not sure what to add to it to make it more engaging. If you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate them.
Thanks again,
Joy
Welcome
I meant story line, I mean, I'd love it if you do.