Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: So...another one departure from your general style of writing. I suppose a little experimentation does no harm. The story here is definitely sounds like something straight out folklore but that's not a bad thing at all. I just have to revaluate how I look at things an in the lens of fairy tale this is quite well done. Its smooth, it gives you a bit of a moral. Its pretty good.
Anyway let's get right to it,
A thousand years ago, the Mutts did not have to live in fear and hiding. They were a proud people and strong. All feared them and loved them. God looked down on them from Heaven, from his throne on the moon, and he smiled on them.
We interrupt this sci fi story to bring you.....a fairy tale.
But one day, the moon was dark and God could not see as the humans grew strong and overthrew the Mutts. When the moon became bright again, God was sad to see that his favorites, the Mutts, had been reduced to little more than prey for the humans to hunt. But the humans were strong and the Mutts forgot about God in their fear. So God became angry and turned his back on the Mutts and left them to their misery.
Some classic fairy tale style narration detected.
Leader, Seri, and all the Mutts looked forward to the day when Kit would take over for his father and lead the Mutts into an age of prosperity and peace. Kit’s father did not believe in God, so when Kit told him that he wanted to go on a journey to Heaven, Seri laughed. He thought Kit was joking.
Okayy...we are definitely the very fairy tale like theme here.
Kit wrapped up three cakes of the moon festival, made of flour from the fungi in the caves that the Mutts hid in. They were bitter and hard, but when it eaten with the spicy stew of the moon festival, they had been a holy food to the Mutts. Kit packed these as an offering to God when he reached the throne on the moon. He put them into a cloth pack, along with a canteen of water and three dried lizards for food, laid it on his shoulder and waited for the moon to rise.
Nice description although its the not the most appetizing of foods you have there.
“Why have you brought me only one cake? Did you not set out with three?”
Uh oh. Somebody's been caught red handed.
God blessed Kit and allowed him to return to his people. He delivered God’s promises of punishment and at first, the Mutts were angry and sad. They cursed Kit for his foolishness and blamed him for their troubles. But then he told them of the promise for redemption and those who had been angry were soothed and all the Mutts’ eyes were opened in faith to God. They prayed and sang and feasted in order to make themselves strong for the coming period of tribulation. But always they had hope.
And a fairly tale style ending to this whole affair.
Aaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: This was a fun little story to read. This would do great as a bedtime story I think (I'm just saying). The whole thing gave of that sort of vibe and in that sense there really wasn't anything that I could point out here so that's about all I will be saying.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 261340
Reviews: 4131
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