Young Writers Society

If I think it is what it is, then I would say your poem is totally cool and amazing, and I love the way you patterned it to make a little sense to the reader. Know that to get a better review, you the writer, must first review your work, especially before submitting. It is not enough to be satisfied by your own write up, but others as well should be able to draw from it, the same idea you had for it.
As a writer, I have come to understand that mood and tone are very important in writing and they give the poem or write up a decent background and theme. If you must be a good writer or poet, you must make your audience or readers be hooked up on the same mood or tone as you. It is not good for you to write a work this way and then I the reader sees it that way, and that's because I didn't get the perfect imagery or theme of what you were trying to pass through.
I dedicate more of my time to poems than to other literary piece, not because its easy or so, but because I love it and it draws me closer to hidden fact.
Please know that I am not trying to descend your work the wrong way, but I think just a little more in-line would do. You have to incline your words to the comprehension of the reader. If not for the fact that the style and language of the poem was low and striking, I wouldn't have understood it, so I bet you work on that as well as check for grammatical errors before submitting. I know we aren't perfect, at least not yet.
I deeply love the poem and i give you a kudos.
Thanks forever young.

Hey!

First of all, I loved the idea of your poem. In the midst of our fast-paced life, it is so easy to forget who we are and give in to the pressure exerted by society to change ourselves to fit into some cookie-cutter mold that they deem perfect.

The only errors I found were in these lines:

I don't want to famous

I think you meant "I don't want to be famous". The "be" is missing.

Also, in this line, I think it should be "of being" not "to be":

I am tired to be the replica

Other than that, I found your poem wonderful.

I really like the last line. I feel like it reinforces how firm you are in your beliefs, and that nothing can ever change you :

They will not be able to change me

Until my heart allows.

On the whole, I loved this poem. Can't wait to read more of your work.

Keep writing.

I'm no expert on really good writing so I apologize if my comment doesn't make sense:()

I like your take on poetry and your choice of words make the poem deep and understanding.

Each line shows your feelings clearly.


Would love to see more of your work!
Thanks!