Alone

Hey there - I'm back again to review.

Sometimes I have trouble relating to the more emotional works on YWS, especially when it comes to something as personal as poetry. I usually read through a work, stop before I write review, and then feel whatever emotion the poet was intending for the reader to feel. But the first line I read of your poem made me already stop and pause, and I read through the rest of the poem much slower than I usually do. It really hit close to home for me, and I wanted to express that somewhere in my review.

The poem comes across as someone's internal dialogue when they realize they don't have any of their old friends anymore. A reason's not given for why, but I think that's okay - sometimes, people just drift apart from each other. The "..." works really well as a break between the lines. It makes the reader want to pause and think through the stanza they had just read.

There's some bits of rhyming, but it's not a staple of the poem - it's just a neat little detail that makes it flow better without the reader immediately noticing.

The only critique I have for this poem is the one that I mentioned in my last review. You could change up the punctuation in some parts of the poem, but it's ultimately a stylistic choice that's up to you.

If this poem was based on your own experiences, I hope you don't feel as alone now. And, if it wasn't, great job on capturing the feeling of being truly alone.

I really appreciated being able to read this.

Hey there FlamingPhoenix! I've been meaning to review this for quite a while, so sorry that it took me so long. Anyways, I quite like the rhyme scheme you have here, where it's AAB for the first stanza then ABB in the second, and then that repeats for the second half of the poem. There's also some nice consonance, with lots of words (especially the non-rhyming end words in stanzas 1, 3, and 4) ending with the n sound.

When I started reading this, my first question was, what is "it" in the first stanza? Something is "pulling [the narrator] in", but I can't figure out what it is, even with the context of the rest of the poem, and that distracted me while reading the next stanza.

In the second stanza, I quite like how "along" and "gone" sound similar but don't rhyme perfectly, as it makes the last line more unexpected. My only complaint, and this extends to the rest of the poem as well, is that there's not a lot of specific images for me to hold onto and visualize. You've used a lot of vague language, like "I had friends before", where there's an opportunity to be more specific and describe the friends, or a specific situation/memory/emotion associated with the friends. Why are they all gone? How does the narrator feel about it, does the narrator miss the friends?

While it can be hard to fit all of that into a shorter poem, giving the reader more specific images helps them really see and feel the poem and makes it stick in their minds. Alliyah has a really good article explaining specificity in poetry much better than I did, with examples and tips for how to use it when writing poetry.

In the third stanza, I like the "cold dark" imagery of the second line and way it ties back into the loneliness of the rest of the poem, but the last line is a bit vague for me. Why can't you explain?

In the fourth and last stanza, I like how the narrator has gained confidence and come to a decision and is now looking forward, it gives the ending a nice finality, a feeling that the poem has come to an end and the message of the poem has been delivered to the reader.

Overall this is a neat poem, with an unexpected rhyme scheme and an interesting take on the theme of loneliness, but it could benefit from some more specific imagery. It left me with a lot of questions! I hope this was helpful, I really enjoyed reading your poem. Don't stop writing!

This is well-written... I like the style of how you wrote this and the deeper meaning it has. This really conveys an emotion or feeling that we can all relate to at some point in our lives. It's simple, yet deeply significant.

It's really well written. And I like it a lot..you described it very well and it perfect the way it is.. I don't think there is any correction needed.it's beautiful... Your poems are always amazing... Thanks for the tag..

It's really well written. And I like it a lot..you described it very well and it perfect the way it is.. I don't think there is any correction needed.it's beautiful... Your poems are always amazing... Thanks for the tag..

WHoa. THis is very deep. I saw it in the Literary Spotlight and since I like poetry so much, I decided to check it out. I’m not gonna lie, this was really good and I liked how simple, but meangiful it was. I’m not sure if this was something that you wrote from heart, like this is what you really feel, cuz don’t worry. You’re NOT ALONE!!!

I’m not sure if there is anything that I can suggest to you cuz you made this spot on. Great job and I look forward to more of your work.

~Morgan

I almost started crying ... so beautiful. I found the part about friends very applicable. Losing a friend tears me up inside. I feel that many will relate to this and feel the pain. Great piece!

I really like this poem and the way the lines flow together. I feel alone a lot and the poem captures the emotion of being on one's own. If I could give some helpful tips I would suggest not reusing the line, "on my own," again in the last paragraph for it seems too repetitive. This is one of the best poems I have read on here and I like how you use 3 lines per stanza that correspond well together.

It's really well written. And I like it a lot..you described it very well and it perfect the way it is.. I don't think there is any correction needed.it's beautiful... Your poems are always amazing... Thanks for the tag..

Hi Flames!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight. I'm here to give you a review. It's gonna be real quick.

I really like the description that you put in here. I also lie the rhyming. You did a f=great job with that. Just one thing that I'd like to point out.

My heads starting to spin.

Hey!
I really liked this poem. I thought that is flowed very well and had some really nice imagery!
The rhyme scheme was a little inconsistent, for example in stanza 1 it was AAB and the second is ABB but to be honest, I like poetry that's a little off. Gives it more personality.
I think inconsistent line lengths are also nice, as it gives it more of an emotive feel!
Overall, loved the poem

Insomnia is my biggest inspiration! I really liked the flow of this piece, it was fairly straight forward. I also think the punctuation and formatting of this piece really helped to make it easy to read and understand. Overall I think it’s a really solid piece!