Falling Rain

by FlamingPhoenix

Published September 3, 2018

E - Everyone

In Poems

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In all the world

There’s nothing like

The sound of falling rain.


The only noise

I’ve ever known

That makes the clocks move slowly.


The only sound

That sweeps away

The cold city wind.


And wraps around

You in a soft embrace

When you take the time to listen.


A sound that is calming

A sound that is light.

It’s quiet, and peaceful.


That comforts all

The sleepy souls

Who sit, and watch, and hear.


The small sounds of rain

As it hits the ground

Putting all at rest.

Comments & reviews · 9
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mythh
Comment
mythh commented Comment · Apr 26, 2020

Why'd you say that poems weren't your thing. I LOVE THIS!!!!!

Lol I forgot about this one! I think this was one of my best. :D

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classicdreams Review
classicdreams wrote a review Review · Aug 2, 2019

Hey there I'm here for a review , first of all I really like this poem because it rains here :O indeed the noise of falling rain calms me very much. I like it how drop after drop it falls.

'' The only sound

That sweeps away

The cold city wind. ''

These lines are beautiful, wow amazing and I like it how you describe the city wind. It can be very cold when it is rainy and when the wind blows.

'' The small sounds of rain

As it hits the ground

Putting all at rest. ''

I like this piece also in the poem because the sound of rain when it falls ,gives me also rest, I like it how the raindrops are then like music. I hear the music in it when the rain falls.

Very good job you put in here :) You are very good at writing Poetry.

Greets from: Meg.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review!!

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secretrose29
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secretrose29 commented Comment · Feb 21, 2019

Really nice poem!

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writerkitty
Comment
writerkitty commented Comment · Sep 8, 2018

^-^ Your poems are AMAZING!!

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dogsrule5
Review
dogsrule5 wrote a review Review · Sep 4, 2018

Hey, Dogs here for a review!

So first off, I'd like to say that this poem is good, and I really liked it, but I have some suggestions for you on how to make this poem better!

1) Some parts of the poem, the flow gets off a bit, but I think with a bit of re-wording it can be fixed. Let me know if you need any help with this (send me a p.m. and I'll totally help you)!

2)

And wraps around,

You in a soft embrace,

Mostly everyone it meets.


I'm not really a fan of how the subject changes from you to mostly everyone, I don't think you should focus on the people who don't care, but only the people who do care, so I think you should maybe just leave out the mostly everyone and fill it in with something else.

Anyway that's about it! You have an amazing start with this poem, but I think like I said if you fix the flow, and change some of those subjects I mentioned above it would be perfect!

I really liked this poem -short and sweet- and can't wait to read more works like this from you in the future!

Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs

Thanks Dogs. The review was great! :D

Anytime!

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Eros
Review
Eros wrote a review Review · Sep 4, 2018

Hey there, Shikora!!

This is Eros with a review for this beautiful poem of yours!!

I was really compelled to read this one out and I loved the title ... It is short, sweet and so related to the content of the poem.

I like the word choice that you have used and it suits the poem perfectly well. Basically, the main idea was how you perceive the sound of rains that is falling on the ground, how it comforts the everyone, who is sitting and enjoying the rainfall.

So ... let's begin the paragraph wise analysis of the poem ...(it's just so that I can tell you, how much of the poem is understood to me, and it's also so that I can know, how much can I interpret a poetic/ literary work)

So, the first stanza is:

Falling Rain

In all the world

There’s nothing like

The sound of falling rain.


Here's the writer describes the Beauty of the Rain, and how there is nothing in the world with whom, we can compare that moment, that sound... Of the rainfall.

Then comes the next stanza--- Ah. This one's wise and clever. Loved it.
The only noise

I’ve ever known

That makes the clocks move slowly.


The rain is indeed noisy, purely because of the wind and the lightening. We don't love the sound of lightenings you know, so it's noise.
But then, the raindrops hitting the ground is so soft and so pleasant that we get lost in it for once and the time passes on slowly and steadily, as we enjoy the rains. man, I am sorry if I interpreted it wrongly.


And then the stanzas following it, tells us and shows us how it is peaceful and calm and soothing.

I especially loved the last stanza,

The small sounds of rain

As it hits the ground

Putting all at rest.


Absolutely LOVED it.

It was a really great poem, full of beauty and it was ...simply AWESOME.

Keep writing such beautiful, Awesome and GREAT poems and other stuff and we would love to keep reading them and reviewing them!!

Have a great day/ night!

With love,
From Eros.
:D

Thank you for the review @Eros. I'm glad you liked it. But you should thank @Sree, she is the one that convinced me to do it. Other wise i never would have thought of doing a poem. But thank you anyway. I have another two poems ready to be posted. Its really fun writing them.

Eros replied · Sep 4, 2018

Yeah! Great job @Sree... And also, tag me when you post the other poems. I'd be glad to read and review them!

Wordzyy replied · Sep 5, 2018

Totally @shikora 's potential. I just said she can do it :) @Eros
Keep up the amazing writing, you both :)

User avatar
alliyah
Review
alliyah wrote a review Review · Sep 4, 2018

Hi Shikora!

I enjoyed this poetic reflection on the rain - especially how you captured the way that rain sort of slows down everything around it.

This stanza in particular is worded just right;

The only noise

I’ve ever known

That makes the clocks move slowly


I would normally critique the flow of this poem, because I found the short lines (just 3 words or so each with maybe 4 syllables) to feel a bit stilted, but in the case of this poem I found for the most part, I actually liked how it made me as a reader slow down reading - mimicking how one hears rain and slows down their pace.

There was one stanza that I thought was a bit awkward;

And wraps around,

You in a soft embrace,

Mostly everyone it meets.



I don't necessarily like how the subject changes from "you" to "mostly everyone" I think it'd be more poignant to just continue talking about the people listening to the rain, rather than go on a little tangent about the people who don't care about it.

In short poems it's especially important to keep the meaning central and to eliminate anything that doesn't go with that central image/meaning/or story. For me the story of this poem is about a speaker who sees how rain changes the world and even themselves, and how rain puts the world at rest.

The cadence of this poem reminded me a bit of "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost - the lines and word choice were just peaceful and simple. One word choice critique I have, is I think the word "sound" was overused. Could you replace some of it by describing the sound maybe with onomatopoeia? "pattering, tip tap, drops" or something like that? The repetition of the word "sound" just felt a bit awkward, and like the same thoughts were being repeated without anything new, so if you could mix it up a bit, I think it'd improve the piece as a whole.

Overall, this is a lovely and soft poem.

By the way, I think the punctuation and capitalization choices were just fine. They didn't distract from my reading but kept consistent all the way through. You don't necessarily have to capitalize the first word of every line, but it made the piece seem a bit more formal which I thought fit the tone of the poem. I also didn't mind that the poem was centered since the lines were so short anyways.

Well done!

~alliyah

Thank you for the review! I'll and see what I can do to mix it up a bit!

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myjaspercat
Review
myjaspercat wrote a review Review · Sep 3, 2018

Hey there Shikora,
Myjaspercat here to leave you a review...


Nit-Picks

Falling Rain
In all the worldFor this line, I would have some sort of punctuation and/or connecting word because the flow to the next seems a bit abrupt and off.
There’s nothing like
The sound of falling rain.Ok, so I would suggest playing around with some different words here in the last line because the repetition of "falling rain" makes it a little bland.

The only noise
I’ve ever known
That makes the clocks move slowly. I like the image of the clocks moving slowly, but you could probably use some more imagery instead of making it so straightforward.

The only sound
That sweeps away
The cold city wind, Is this line meant to end with a comma? Based off of the the other stanzas, I'm going to make the assumption that you wanted this stanza to also end with a period since it's the only one that didn't. If it is meant to be a comma then you can disregard this.

And wraps around,
You in a soft embrace,
Mostly everyone it meets.So I have a small issue with this line and the previous one. In the second line of the stanza you're addressing your readers personally with the word "you" however in this line you're addressing your readers as a general group. The problem with this is that you're making it very personally by saying that it "wraps around you" but then going and breaking that personal tie/emotion by basically contradicting it with "mostly everyone." You have to remember to look out for those tense verbs and watch out for the feeling you're creating so you don't end up contradicting that feeling.


1.) Formatting and Style
For the most part, I feel like this poem is pretty good so I'm going to give you props for that. However, there are a few things that I would like to mention just for good measure. Feel free to ignore some of the advice I give.

a) Centering your poem and adding the extra space in between each lines:

--> There is a perception among some poets that centering the text of a poem somehow makes it look and feel more poetic. However, if your poem can be left justified without doing damage to the meaning of the poem, you may want to consider ditching the center justification. The reason this is, is because the center justification of a poem can really make it scream "new writer" or amateurish. Now I understand that sometimes poets have their poems centered justified for special reasons and meanings for the poems and if there is a reason other than “it looks nice” that your poem must be centered, then by all means, stick with it and keep it centered. Just be mindful of the feelings people can get (especially editors who you may want to look at piece if you ever want it published) when the poem is center justified.

-->One of the tell tale signs that a writer is new to the craft is unnecessary double-spacing of free verse or rhyming poems. Many double-spaced poems can easily become single-spaced poems without doing significant damage. That said, some poems simply must be double-spaced. The writer selects double-spacing not just because it “looks nice” but because that format supports the meaning of the poem in some way. You can double-space your poems; just be sure you’re doing it deliberately, with sensitivity and awareness. If you can remove the double spacing without doing damage to the poem, it might be a good idea to do so.

Personally I see double spaced poems as off-putting and an eye sore. I'd prefer to read poetry that only consist of single spaced lines. As a suggestion, you could try to remove the extra space in between your lines and see if you like that better.

b) Capitalization of each line:

This is defiantly more a personal problem that I have with poetry. Like the other things I mentioned earlier, you can disregard this if it has meaning to the poem. However, if it's just because you feel like it looks nice, then I suggest thinking about this.

When you capitalize every single line to a poem it can make the piece very jarring to read. Typically you only want to add capitalized words where it is absolutely necessary.

c)Punctuation:

This is where my personal problems become a little muddy because I'm typically telling people that they need less punctuation then they have, however in your case my suggestions are completely opposite. It's not that bad honestly, but I feel like if you added a few more small punctuations like commas to the stanzas just to give your readers a bit of a pause in between ideas.

d) Flow:

Finally onto the last idea of this section. For the most part, the flow of this piece is pretty good and there doesn't seem to be too much to say. However there a few places (some of which I mentioned in the nit-picks) that I felt really hindered the flow of the piece. Remember to go back and read through the poem out loud, look for any lines or sections where you happen to stumble on the writing and what not.

2) Overall opinions

Overall, I like the poem. I think it's really cute. I do feel like you should add some more imagery rather then telling us everything that is happening and being felt. I don't know what else to say, if you have any questions please feel free to leave them and I will answer them to the best of my abilities. I hoped I helped some. Good luck and continue writing.

I'll keep what you have said in mind. This poem was my first so I don't really no much about how to write them! But thanks for the review.

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Wordzyy
Review
Wordzyy wrote a review Review · Sep 3, 2018

Heya,Shikora!

This is a beautiful poem. The words just painted a pleasant picture in my head.

There’s nothing like

The sound of falling rain.


Oh, yeah! This very line gets the readers to hook up with feel.

The only noise

I’ve ever known

That makes the clocks move slowly.


I know, right...pitter-patter...pitter-patter...The feel we get as if the world is rotating all slow. It's heavenly. Clever that you brought it into this poem.

That sweeps away

The cold city wind,


And wraps around,

You in a soft embrace,

Mostly, everyone, it meets.


Wow! Intense! Totally relatable to everyone. One could feel the soft hug of the pleasant chill breeze. It's like a gentle peck.

I love the way you have written this poem. It is drizzled with pure emotions and pleasant feel which is authentic, and that adds more beauty to it. Poems written with description are way better than imaginative ones. Feels original, right. This is one original piece. You should write more.
That comforts all

The sleepy souls

Who sit, and watch, and hear.

-
As it hits the ground

Putting all at rest.


Just what one needs. Could there be a best lullaby than this sound? I loved this poem for it's elegancy, portrayal of peace, admiration of nature, the pace that is set while describing.

Overall a hearty ready. Enjoyed it! Was a feast to soul, eyes, ears. You brought sound effects, visual effects and the indescrbable feel, can say pleasant feel, I felt contented, I did enjoy watching the rain in your poem, I was totally in the same boat of the narrator.

P.S. Beautiful rain with words.

Thanks for sharing this poem. Looking forward for more :)

-
sree

Thank you so much for the lovely review. I will be making more soon! :D



Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
— Paul Brandt