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Young Writers Society



The Secret of Tayburn Zoo: 29

by ExOmelas


A/N: Uhhhh I've just realised this is like double the length that I normally do. I hope that's okay given how infrequently I do this?

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The way everyone was staring at Chip worried Aurora. He had gathered the fifteen strong animal crew in their sleeping quarters just as bedtime was drawing near. While it was true that about half were lounging casually in their bunk beds, that couldn't be said for Dexi, whose eyes seemed to be boring holes in the side of his head, or Niall the bat, who was clearly facing the opposite direction.

He'd been highly irritable ever since being passed over for Shadow Engineer and apparently was annoyed Chip had presumed to get in the way of what was for him breakfast time. There were a few others giving Chip the occasional withering glance, but Dexi and Niall seemed to be the ringleaders.

What worried Aurora about it was that she hadn't seen Dexi this furious since they'd found out about Patrick technically being paid to take away their consciousness.

"So you've finally decided to bring us up to speed?" Dexi asked, just as Chip had opened his mouth to start speaking. God, she could be mean if she wanted to. Her and Rita both, they enabled each other. Oddly, Rita was watching intently from her bottom bunk mounted into the left wall. Her eyes were screwed up and she hadn't said anything since they gathered together.

"Yes..." Chip said, frowning at Dexi. "So, you know from the announcement that we spoke to the aliens... and that they have a request. I wanted to warn you about that request so you're prepared when Captain Barrett asks you tomorrow - so you have time to prepare a refusal he'll accept."

Aurora glanced at Dexi, who stayed silent. Maybe she couldn't argue against Chip being considerate. When was he not?

"What's the request?" Aurora asked. Chip's mouth was hanging a little open and his eyes were darting around the room. At this he gave a little yelp and focused his eyes on Aurora.

He cleared his throat. "The aliens told us about an incident where a rogue worker of theirs stole a shuttle and brought a vial of chemical called Cerdulite down to Earth - to Scotland. Somehow, it got broken..." He went quiet for a moment, but clenched his fists and held his trembling head high. "This chemical is routinely used by the Alliance the Geerhaldians belong to in order to bring to full consciousness all creatures on a planet they wish to communicate with."

"What?" Dexi exclaimed. She sprang off the top bunk above Rita and landed in the centre of the room's black laminate floor. "Every creature? Not just us? Why didn't it work?"

"Uh..." Chip's arm jerked out wildly as he reached out towards Dexi then clamped it back to his side as he clearly realised he had no idea what he was trying to do. "Well, that wasn't their official mission. They usually offer it to currently Awakened species, but these workers figured the humans would refuse and they saw that as this big injustice. So they brought it down and... the point is, none of this was Patrick's doing."

Dexi tossed her head to one side, which Aurora knew was her way of waving a dismissive hand. "I love Patrick to bits but that's been clear for a long time. Finally, something that makes sense!"

As Aurora looked around the room she realised from the wide eyes and open mouths that most of the crew were shocked at this revelation.

She certainly was.

All this time Patrick had been driving himself mad with confusion and guilt... for what? And it wasn't like anyone would let them get in contact with him to tell him. Patrick was still something of a taboo subject among people who didn't want to be accused of slander by Neuromax.

"But come on, what's the request?" Dexi exclaimed.

"Right, yes." Chip shifted his feet. In order to be sure, the aliens, Hilo and Relldon, would like to perform some quick tests on us."

"Oh Christ, Chip, not more tests!" Dexi dashed up to the ladder he was perched on top of and glared up at him. "Don't you think we've had enough poking and prodding and petrifying nightmares?"

"That's why I'm bloody telling you!" Chip snapped. His eyes were wide, bright and furious. But before Dexi could say anything else, he sagged forwards with his head in his hands. Through his fingers, he said, "I wanted you to know so you won't be blind sided when Barrett asks you tomorrow." Chip raised his head and seemed to meet Dexi's gaze, as far as Aurora could tell. He spread his hands wide and said, "You're better at this than me, Dexi! I'm sure you can craft some eloquent response about justice..."

For moment, a long silent moment, Dexi's head pointed down towards the ground. Finally, she looked back up at Chip. "Thank you, Chip. I can do that. I'm... I'm sorry."

Now Aurora's jaw really did drop open. An honest apology? From Dexi?

Aurora awoke groggily the next morning. Nightmares about a partially bald Patrick - who spent a lot of time in Aurora's dreams pulling his hair out from worry - refused to leave her alone. And as tired as she was, she would still rather stare at the dull grey ceiling than descend into the tightness of that anxiety. A Shadow Welfare officer really ought to be better rested, but not having any way to communicate with Patrick was killing her.

The door of the dorm room flew open.

"Good morning all!" boomed Barrett's excruciatingly loud voice.

Aurora struggled into a sitting position and quickly located Chip - across the room from her, with Barrett in between as he strode in. She could just about see Chip's tail, and then his head as he leaned forward to wave hello to Barrett. She locked onto Dexi, who was already descending from her bunk in the middle of the room.

"Morning, sir," Dexi said, inclining her head in that polite way she did when she wanted something.

Barrett frowned and glanced from her to Chip and back. "Er, good morning, Dexi. It's nice to see you so bright and ready to face the day... Speaking of which, it is going to be quite a day for you all!"

Aurora sucked in a breath as Barrett raised both arms out to the sides, sweeping around to encompass them all. The others' faces were a mix of frowns, similarly held breath and half closed eyes that still had crusty sleep in the corners.

"What do you mean by that, sir?" Dexi asked.

Barrett had turned around to face Chip, but again he had to turn around and address himself to Dexi. Aurora grinned a little. Setting him off guard like this was kind of genius. Dexi could be mean when she wanted to, of course.

"Well, it's just, we have had a very exciting offer from our friends out there." His still extended arm pointed towards the corridor, which Aurora guessed was the rough direction of the other ship. He went on, "They believe they have an idea what happened to Awaken you all, and they would like to be able to perform some tests on you."

"What kind of tests?" Dexi's voice was low, unnervingly so, in Aurora's opinion.

"I'm not quite sure," Barrett admitted, "But their technology is clearly very advanced, that much Shadow Captain Chip and I have discovered."

Aurora thought she caught a quick snarl on Dexi's face at the mention of Chip's rank, and Barrett's flinch seemed to confirm it. But almost instantaneously her wide, sweet eyes were back.

She said, "It's just... we've all had a very long, grueling experience with tests. That man, Patrick, for a year he tried to figure out what was wrong with us, what he'd done. It was rough... The nightmares... I don't want that to happen again, not to me or to any of my friends."

Aurora felt a wave of pride at this performance, but wondered what that pride said about herself.

Barrett looked around at Chip again, but this time his eyebrows were higher up, as if he was pleading. "Well, like I said, we're not certain exactly what they are capable of. But it seemed pretty routine. I doubt they'd hurt you?"

"Do you think we can trust them, sir?" Niall the bat called, flapping forward to land beside Dexi. Aurora smirked. Perhaps she hadn't been the only one up all night - how long had they been rehearsing all this for?

"Was this your first time talking to them, sir?" Dexi asked, glancing at Niall in surprise as if she'd had absolutely no idea he'd been planning on interrupting.

Barrett's forearms were bare with his white shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbow. His veins bulged with tension as he gestured wildly. "Yes, but-"

"Please, sir, we're scared," Rosie piped up from the back. Aurora had to bite back a snort. Now that was a really nice touch.

Barrett's eyes were wild, darting around from face to face. Aurora assumed her own mask of wide-eyed fear just in case his gaze landed on her, but his eyes actually seemed to be bouncing from face to face so quickly that he wasn't even seeing them.

"I'll... I'll be back in a moment," he croaked, "Get up and ready for work, please."

He stumbled back out the room and Aurora watched with a pang of sadness as leaned close into the wall and dragged himself along it. But then the angle of the door frame cut off her vision and she looked back into the room.

Almost immediately the whoops and clapping rang out among the scattered bunk beds. In the centre of the room, Dexi padded around in circles, with Niall flapping about excitedly in the air above. The two of them lapped up the applause with glee evident in their toothy grins and gleaming eyes.

Aurora glanced over at Chip.

He was fidgeting with his tail, wrapping it around the metal bar at the foot of his bed, then uncoiling it and wrapping it around again in the opposite direction. His eyes stared at his tail's tip, tracking it back and forth, back and forth. Aurora wriggled off the bed and shuffled over to him. She skirted around the back of the crowd that had formed around Dexi and Niall and nobody seemed to notice her.

"You okay, Chip?" she asked, keeping her voice low.

Chip's head jerked up. "I - uh, what, sorry? Oh, right... It's Barrett. He just seemed so sad..."

Aurora swivelled around and hopped up backwards onto the bunk beside him. "Yeah, but, he got what he deserved, right? We've been through enough testing."

"He doesn't understand," Chip insisted, turning to face her. "To him a test is going and getting an X-Ray to see if your bone is broken. How is he meant to wrap his head around what Neuromax did to us? Or what the government started to do to Treego?"

The buzz of noise around Dexi died down a little as Chip came to a stop. There were still a few murmurings, but after a moment, Dexi started wading through the crowd towards Chip's bunk. Aurora held her breath and snuck a quick glance at Chip, who was staring at a wrinkle in the quilt cover.

"What are you talking about, Chip?" Dexi said, slightly louder than she needed to given the silence. "You don't think we should have done what he wanted, do you?"

Aurora's fur stood on end as she looked down Dexi's snout. Dexi could be mean when she wanted to.

"No, I just..." Chip sighed. "Didn't you see his face? And, you know, I wouldn't even have to ask anything of you. What if it was just me that went? The same thing happened to all of us - mostly - I don't know if that extends to the likes of Aurora and Juliet. But the point is if they get the result they need from me they wouldn't need anything from anyone else."

Dexi wagged her head from side to side. "Nu-uh, Chip. If you go, we look like crap and you get to be Barrett's favourite, not that you aren't already. If you go, you undermine us. You betray us."

"I just want to be nice," Chip whispered. "Barrett is sad."

Aurora spotted Dexi's snarl relax for a moment, her mouth sag open slightly. Her eyes briefly widened from slits to big, sad circles and Aurora knew that she saw what she was doing to Chip. That made Aurora all the more furious as Dexi slammed her mouth shut and screwed her eyes up again, refocusing her glare on Chip.

"Fine. Do what you want," she muttered, then spun around and strode away.

She was followed by Niall, Rita and a few others, none of whose names Aurora knew yet. When she looked back around at Chip, she saw Treego spring from the frame of the top bunk down onto Chip's shoulder, and Rosie clamber over the bar Chip had been fidgeting with.

Everyone else - Gerry, Phoenix, Juliet and a few others - were left stranded in the middle of the room where they'd just a moment ago been congratulating Dexi on her bravery in standing up to Barrett. It must have felt like a glorious moment of unity for those whose gazes hadn't landed on Chip.

"Well, Chip?" Aurora asked, gazing sadly at the ground.

Chip drew in a deep, long breath and stood up. Aurora watched his eyes flick toward Dexi, who had taken her friends to the far right corner of the room. But it was Chip. Everyone knew what he was going to do.


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386 Reviews


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Wed Feb 17, 2021 12:38 am
Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi @ExOmelas I finally had the chance to get to review again, so let's get right into it, now I haven't done a review in awhile so I might be a bit rusty so real sorry if I waist your time. First of who cares about the length I'm always happy to read more. :D

The way everyone was staring at Chip worried Aurora. He had gathered the fifteen strong animal crew in their sleeping quarters just as bedtime was drawing near. While it was true that about half were lounging casually in their bunk beds, that couldn't be said for Dexi, whose eyes seemed to be boring holes in the side of his head, or Niall the bat, who was clearly facing the opposite direction.


Great start to the chapter, and lol Dexi's funny, Niall must be in deep thought the cogs must be turning.

]quote]He'd been highly irritable ever since being passed over for Shadow Engineer and apparently was annoyed Chip had presumed to get in the way of what was for him breakfast time. There were a few others giving Chip the occasional withering glance, but Dexi and Niall seemed to be the ringleaders.[/quote]

This made be laugh Chip sounds real annoying while Dexi and Niall sound real annoyed with Chip. Okay also him is in bold because I think that maybe there should be an at between him and breakfast.

"So you've finally decided to bring us up to speed?" Dexi asked, just as Chip had opened his mouth to start speaking. God, she could be mean if she wanted to. Her and Rita both, they enabled each other. Oddly, Rita was watching intently from her bottom bunk mounted into the left wall. Her eyes were screwed up and she hadn't said anything since they gathered together.


Oh do I for see some arguing in the camp, this is definitely getting funny.

"Yes..." Chip said, frowning at Dexi. "So, you know from the announcement that we spoke to the aliens... and that they have a request. I wanted to warn you about that request so you're prepared when Captain Barrett asks you tomorrow - so you have time to prepare a refusal he'll accept."


When I read this I literally said "well I see this going down badly," *reads on* what's going to happen.

Dexi tossed her head to one side, which Aurora knew was her way of waving a dismissive hand. "I love Patrick to bits but that's been clear for a long time. Finally, something that makes sense!"


Lol that's funny like wow something that really makes sense ahaha.

Okay a thing I need to point out that has been bugging me for awhile but I have been trying to get past it. In some lines its almost like your calling Dexi and some of the others his, then in a different line it will be she, so it starts to get a bit confusing of what gender they are. okay so I have put the her in bold because of this because if you go back to the first line I will have put his in bold, just so you can see what I'm talking about.

Well that is all that I can say about this chapter, it was great to read. I didn't feel like you were missing anything. If I was being harsh or anything that put you down, I'm really sorry please forgive me, take what ever you think was helpful to you out of this and leave the rest I really don't mind.
As always I hope to read the next chapter soon. :D <33

I hope that you have a great Day or night whatever side of the world your on.

@Vulcanite siring over the green room sparing shards of reviews as she went




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Sun Jan 31, 2021 4:54 am
Shady wrote a review...



Bisc! Shady back again, looking forward to FINALLY getting caught up on this again. I want to apologize again for this taking me SO long to get to, and reiterate that you really, really can follow up and poke me if I don't review things within a reasonable amount of time (like, a week or two, this is unacceptable how long it took me adagfa)

Chip's arm jerked out wildly as he reached out towards Dexi then clamped it back to his side as he clearly realised he had no idea what he was trying to do.


Awww, poor, awkward Chip <33 I love how relatable he is, especially in the past few chapters. It's been really endearing and I love that we've gotten so much of him lately.

Dexi could be mean when she wanted to.


You've repeated this quite a few times now? And like I get sometimes repetition works well, but this just seems like you're repeating yourself on accident rather than it building the tension more?

Her eyes briefly widened from slits to big, sad circles and Aurora knew that she saw what she was doing to Chip. That made Aurora all the more furious as Dexi slammed her mouth shut and screwed her eyes up again, refocusing her glare on Chip.


Awww, right in the feels, my heart </3

~ ~ ~

I really liked this chapter as well! I love the ethical dilemmas poor Chip has going on and like how we all KNOW he's gonna cave and get the tests but also all this drama and tension and he's in SUCH a bad spot but I feel so bad for him and just wanna give him some cuddles.

I'm excited to see where this story goes next! Please tag me when you post it, and pleaseee poke me if I don't get to it quickly.

Hope you're well!

~Shady 8)

Oh and Schadenfreude and Fahrvergnügen and all that jazz




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Fri Dec 11, 2020 1:12 am
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Dest wrote a review...



Hello! I read the first chapter of your story, but I’m mostly jumping into this blind. There are a lot of interesting tidbits swirling around here, Shadow Engineers, aliens, animal consciousness etc. Even with coming into chapter 29, I think I was able to get up to speed quickly. These are just my thoughts.

... and that they have a request. I wanted to warn you about that request so you're prepared when Captain Barrett asks you tomorrow - so you have time to prepare a refusal he'll accept."

“That request” is redundant. It reads smoother without it.


"I love Patrick to bits (comma) but that's been clear for a long time.
As Aurora looked around the room (comma) she realised from the wide eyes and open mouths that most of the crew were shocked at this revelation.


Very minor but I would add some commas here.

She said, "It's just... we've all had a very long, grueling experience with tests. That man, Patrick, for a year he tried to figure out what was wrong with us, what he'd done. It was rough... The nightmares... I don't want that to happen again, not to me or to any of my friends."


I enjoyed the dialogue when the group was convincing Barrett not to test them. I also felt the undercurrent of tension in the group and Chip’s confliction toward the end.

Aurora's fur stood on end as she looked down Dexi's snout. Dexi could be mean when she wanted to.


This is the third instance of Dexi could be mean when she wanted to. I feel like it’s understood she’s being blunt/rude here. But I also understand this seems to be a recurring gag.

Overall, I had fun reading this. I think your descriptions are stellar, especially ones involving body language and movement.





We know what a person thinks not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions.
— Isaac Bashevis Singer