Livre OR Summer Reading
By Claudette
Letters on a page,
In between two thick covers of
Various colors, glare at me,
Reminding me that I must read...
Eventually.
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I agree with the others: simple, short, sweet, yet not memorable.
I don't know how, but maybe you should squeeze some summery images into it...then it would have a certain atmosphere that would seem more relaxed, sort of like somebody leaning on a swing, wanting to read--but too lazy in the hot summer sun.
Blah--so yes, I did like this one.
Well, for an acrostic, it's good.
For a poem?
You've done better.
It's nice, and you've definetely mastered the acrostic. I don't love it, but that seems to be more the fault of the format than anything else.
In parts, I felt you were a bit restricted by this, and it was kind of like it was the format writing the poem.E.g: I'm not sure that "various colours" is right given that there are only two covers. It just sounded a little odd to me.
Also, when you said "In between two thick covers" it sounded like the book was closed, so, the letters wouldn't be able to glare at you because they wouldn't be able to see you.
On the upside, I felt that you laid your thoughts out well, and I liked how the ending trailed off.
I do like the simplicity of it all but I can't really feel anything from it. It's sort of more a statement than anything. Though, I do get it and it's not by any means bad. Lol, I'm sort of in-between. The first-third stanza were my favorite.
Keep it up!
~Rieda
I'm glad to meet someone who agrees! I actually wrote an acrostic poem about how much I disliked acrostic poems, and the creative writing teacher liked it so much that it ended up being published in our school's literary magazine. Right next to my friend's [serious] acrostic, no less... oops.
You know, I like this, but at the same time, like many other acrostic poems, it seems a little forced. I didn't notice the "livre" at first, but I knew that you were trying to fit into some sort of mold immediately because it seemed a little forced to me. Then I went back and noticed that it was an acrostic.
I'm also not really sure if you want to read these books but just know that it will happen at a later time, or if you're purposely avoiding it - maybe both? I'm leaning toward the latter.
Anyway, it's nice, but for as short as it is, it really only conveys one concept... but it doesn't really define it as clearly as it could. It's nice, but you have other work that I've enjoyed more. Keep it up, dear Claudette
Hahaha, just keep it an arcrostic and, for those in the know, they can giggle, and for those who don't know French *waves hand frantically* they can flail around until they read somebody's critique that says, "Oh, this is an arcrostic poem!"
...yes. I didn't know that at first. XD
Anyway, just reading it, I think it's amusing (summer reading + procrastination = wheeeee!) but definitely not the most ground-breaking thing around.
Jack, you make me sad =[ But I also giggle about how I procrastinate and burn myself ^_~
Well...I know it doesn't make sense since I do love to read, but the feelings I expressed are something I really feel. And I also think acrostics are very six-year-old-ish.
I might have a book I have to read for school, or even a book I enjoy, sitting on my desk. I might want to read it, or I might absolutely hate it but know that if I don't read it, I'll fail that test tomorrow. Either way, there is some force pushing me to read it. But I might want to do something else, or I might just hate the book and not want to read, or anything. For a while, with The Brothers Karamazov [which I believe I was reading while I wrote this] I wanted to read it, but I couldn't, I was too caught up in school. Either way, "Eventually" is when it happens.
But, I hate explaining poetry. It's so wrong ^_^ Thank you Jack!
And I think I'll ad a subtitle, of sorts.
I don't know. From what I can tell, you absolutely love to read; yet this poem seems to say the book is forcing you to read, which is a strange one. No doubt it's the fact that you procrastinate all the time (burning yourself and things) instead of doing your required school reading, but it seems so negative. Maybe you're trying to say the book is pulling you in and you can do nothing about it, but it still seems wrong coming from you. In that line of thinking, it seems you forced a meaning dependent on the format of the acrostic structure.
Which brings me right back to the idea that acrostic poems were made for 6-year-olds entering their first world of writing, and that to use them past this purpose isn't worth it. You can do better!
I like it much better switched. I think that the word "Eventually" along gives that "drawn out" feel.
Now I'm sad that the title meaning was taken away. I don't know French and I'm too lazy to use an online translator...or I would use the translator and get the verb or something and be terribly confused.
Maybe instead of an asterisk you could use a subtitle?
-Colly
Title meaning nixed ^_~
As to the meaning, I'm not entirely sure? It may have something to do with the fact that the noun la livre means book, but there is also a verb livre which means "to deliver." My poem doesn't have an article [la/une or the/a] because it isn't in the acrostic, but then if you exclude the article from the translation, you get the verb. ><
*shrugs*
yay!
)
I vote to nix the title's translation. If people want to know, they can go look it up! (and they should know that if it's Claud, it's French
Though google dictionary returns this
Does livre have two meanings? If you feel like re-thinking the poem, that might be fun ^.^
Oh, Melia! I love you! The idea of switch the ellipse and the period is brilliant ^_^ I think it brings out the feeling even more. [I detest ellipses, but it needs that drawn out, ponder, "Oh crap I don't want to read" feel.]
Do you think I should get rid of the meaning of the title? Hmm.
What I didn't like was that you defined livre, calling attention to the fact that it's an acrostic poem. I like how covers/colors sound together. Were I you, I'd switch the period and the ellipses. But then again, I like ellipses maybe a little too much
You didn't exactly push the preconceptions of the format on this one, Clau.
However, for what it is it reads well.
Whoa... I just realized that this is an acrostic. *cough ditz cough*
Hmm... Not especially memorable or powerful, but I enjoyed it; sweet and simple, and I can definitely relate. Ordinarily acrostics seem cheesy, but you pulled this off pretty well. Plus French = cool.
This sounds like an ode to summer reading more than anything. Like Col, I don't love the ellipses, though I guess they could stay -- on the provision that the poem continues at some point. This could be a decent beginning to something; what, i don't know; it is simple and factual now but that could be an intro to anything. If you ever get a hands on "Best American Poetry, 2006", look for "To My Niece Sydney, Age Six" by Amy Gerstler ... it has that kind of factual open-endedness and you could weave marvelous things out of it. So I guess I'm expecting that you do so.
Hooray French? Thanks for giving the meaning, or I would've been babbling on like this: "Does that mean 'Liver'? What does your liver have to do with books?"
I think it might be easier to understand if you placed commas where I have (marked with blue). And I've always thought that ellipses at the ends of poems were kind of cliche and unnecessary. Though yours accents the "Eventually" at the end, I still think it should go.Hmm, we don't see many acrostics, do we? Neat, though.
The poem is constructed well, but I don't find it complex or sophisticated. Nothing has really been said that's made me think or made me view reading in a different way...but it's funny. Short and sweet, no?
-Colly