Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Neil Dreams of the Sky

AN: This was my entry for Nate's Short Story Prompt event for the Olympics, and I wanted to post it because I'm proud of how it turned out and want more feedback. Neil is obviously Neil Armstrong. I'm not sure how off base it was from what Nate was looking for, but the picture made me think of how we've come from 1969. I wanted this to have the tone of a children's story or a fable, and if the details seem vague, it's because I really don't know much about Neil Armstrong's life at all.

I hope you all enjoy!

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Neil knew he had a dream, although, early on, he didn’t know what that dream was. There wasn’t a word for it then, no acknowledgement that it was even possible beyond the imaginations of science fiction writers. All he knew was that, for as long as he could remember, he would look out at the sky each night, at the moon and the stars, and wonder about what was beyond.

As Neil grew into a teenager, he began to take to the skies themselves. Flying through the clouds exhilarated him, but still, he came down each night, looked up at the stars and wondered about what was beyond. Yet the world had other things on its mind, and going out, touching the stars, that was all still the stuff of science fiction.

Years passed and Neil was now an adult with a family of his own. He had been doing alright for himself and may have forgotten about his dream, but suddenly the world became fascinated with it too. Then, there was a man who did just that. He traveled past the skies and into space. He may come right back down, but if a man could do that, maybe one could even set foot on the moon itself. Neil had never given up flying and that did not go unnoticed by the people who shared his dream.

“How would you like to go into space and walk on the moon?” They asked him.

He agreed without a second thought. Months passed, and then years. For all of their hard work, Neil had still never travelled above the clouds. Everyone thought he was insane. No one thought it would ever lead to anything.

And then, through nothing short of a miracle, they were ready. Ready as they would ever be. It was still dangerous, still incredibly dangerous. It wasn’t certain that he would come back alive. But it was too late to turn back now. He couldn’t disappoint the child still inside him that looked up at the night sky in wonder.

Then the day came. He walked out of the spacecraft and was on the moon.

One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

He came back safely and to a hero’s welcome. As the years passed and his moonwalk became a distant memory, the people never stopped coming to him. You inspire me. You made me want to be an astronaut.

Neil had never asked for that. All he had done was do what he felt was right, do what he believed in, and never give up even when it seemed impossible.

Before long he was an old man, and his moonwalk became a distant memory. Yet everyone still adored him, and Neil hadn’t the slightest idea why. 


They said it was because he had led the way. He had made the impossible seem within reach. He couldn’t not be touched by that, even if he didn’t deserve all the credit. There were many people who had helped him get there, many much smarter than he was.

As his time left on earth began to slip away, he began to wonder about its future. Since his moonwalk, many astronauts had come and gone, many who did much greater things. They had been to Mars. Maybe they would drive cars into the sky.

It might have been ridiculous, but then again, so had a simple walk on the moon not so long ago.

Who knew what was next.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Kanome
Review
Kanome wrote a review · Sun Feb 25, 2018 6:15 am

Hello. Kanome here with a review in honor of Review Day.
I love the use of Armstrong's point of view. It brings the reader close to him of how he was able to reach his dreams even though it may have seem impossible for him to do so.
I really love this quote:

One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

It's basically saying that as he was the first man to walk on the moon, this was a huge step for the whole world to experience, therefore, continuing the process of men and women to walk on the moon and researching space.
I got nothing more to say to this. This was an amazing read and since you are proud of the work, so am I.
Keep writing and have a great day!

User avatar
wendylau98
Review

Hey there~ Here for a quick review. Well, hoping it will be quick. So, let's see about Neil then.

Firstly, still the stuff of science fiction. There is no error in here or anything. It that I suggest, a suggestion only that it would say "still the stuff of fiction." there is no need to add a science to it. Because there is some other way to touch the sky other than rockets. For example, flying(Superman). teleportation, into another dimension. It's more fantasy fiction also. It's well aware its reality here.

above the clouds. It rhythms more. but logically, an aeroplane flew above some layers of cloud. Out of atmosphere would be better but it's out of place.

He couldn't disappoint the child that still lives inside him.. auwwwwwww, that's so sweet. Many gone once they hit adulthood.

I see you follow up the ongoing legend of Elon Musk!

I love the ending. the reminiscing. the humbleness, the pride yet clueless too. Neil was there to fulfil his dream. Yet, his dream was a push to humanity to do the impossible!



Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it.
— Madeleine L'Engle, Author