z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Princess and the Pauper

by Elinor


AN: this probably sucks, but there’s something here I want to work with. Rip it to shreds.

There were once two girls who were born in Tinseltown within six months of each other. From the outside, they had very different lives. One, born into destitution. A pauper. Although they scarcely had enough to get by, she was an only child, and was loved fiercely by her family. The other was born into privilege. A lady. She was the youngest of four children, and often fought with them to win the approval of their parents.

As the pauper became a girl, her dark hair was often unkempt, but her smile was always wide. The lady's blonde curls were always immaculately coiffed, but her lips were always tight.

As they became young women, they both found that they had a gift for the theater. While the Pauper’s parents were supportive of her wish to act on stage, the Lady’s parents told her that if she wanted to act, she had to do it on her own.

“So be it,” the Lady said, before moving into her own apartment in town just above a dress shop.

The next day the Lady went to the theater to audition for a role in an upcoming play. “You’ll never succeed,” her parents had told her, and she was determined to prove them wrong. The directors admired her drive and agreed to see her. While they were not impressed with her talent, she was strikingly beautiful, someone who people paid to see. So they cast her as the young wife of the hero. It was not a great role, but it was a start. Before she left the lady stopped in the waiting area for tea. It was there she saw the Pauper, staring distantly at the wall.

“Hello,” the Lady said. “Hello,” the Pauper responded. While her clothes were plain and tattered, there was no doubt that she was beautiful.

“I’m Grace,” said the Lady.

“Audrey,” said the Pauper.

“Have you worked here long?” Grace asked.

“I’ve just been cast in my first play,” Audrey said. “I’m to play a Princess. I’m afraid because I don’t know anything about it.”

Grace laughed. “I’m no royal, but my family behaves as if they were.”

Audrey smiled wryly. “I don’t know if I will be convincing.”

Grace sat next to her. “I was just cast in my first play too.”

“Congratulations,” Audrey responded. She noticed Grace’s turquoise dress. “Your dress is very beautiful.”

“Thank you.” Grace and Audrey got to talking, and they realized how, in spite of their different backgrounds, just how similar they really were. When it came to the theater, Audrey found success more quickly in than Grace. She turned out to be very convincing playing a princess, because the theater awarded her with its most prestigious award. With it came money that she’d never had before. She’d fallen in love too, with a fellow actor, and shortly after she and her husband moved into their own house. No longer could Audrey call herself a pauper, but she hadn’t forgotten where she came from.

After the wedding, Grace missed her friend. While Audrey continued to act and they saw each other often, she had started her own family. Grace reflected on her own loneliness. She was cast often in plays, and that kept her busy. Yet the public didn’t consider her a serious actress the way they did with Audrey. Still, she kept at it and within a year she had gotten the same prestigious award.

Around this time her father visited and asked Grace why she was not yet married. Grace responded that she had not yet been in love. “You don’t need to be in love,” her father responded. “Just find someone so you don’t become an old maid.” With that he left, leaving Grace uncomfortable and exasperated.

The plays continued. Audrey still acted, but she had taken time off to raise her growing family. Grace had joined the cast of a traveling production which was to take her to distant lands. Grace was uncertain, for she had never before travelled outside of Tinseltown. For several months she was gone, and she barely thought about her problems at all. In one such kingdom they were to perform before the royal family. Grace had heard whispers that the Prince was to be in attendance, and that he was seeking a wife, but she didn’t pay it much mind.

They gave the performance, and Grace felt the Prince’s eyes on her the whole time. He wasn’t the most handsome. But there was something about him. Afterward, the cast met the royal family. When it came time for Grace and the Prince to meet, she could see him blushing when she curtsied. She felt something then too. It was love at first sight. Or so she thought. Soon, they were married, and the Lady became a Princess.

With that came rules, rules much more strict than Grace had never known as a girl. But she was happy and she was in love and soon they had a family of her own.

Meanwhile, Audrey did not yet know that her best days were yet ahead of her. Her children were no longer infants, and she was able to return to the theater full time. One of these roles, as a lost young woman trying to find her place in the world, would become the one she would be most remembered for.

Grace dreamed of returning to the theater. She almost did once, but she was a Princess now, and to be an actress was simply improper, so her husband forbade it. It was around then that she discovered that he had been unfaithful since the beginning of their marriage. But still she stayed, if only for the sake of their children. In Tinseltown, Audrey’s marriage had fallen apart, but she would find love again. Grace had her children, and she devoted herself to improving the arts in her kingdom. Her proudest achievement was the opening of a new theater.

For the rest of their lives, this was what was most important to them; their love of the theater and of their families. The two women often thought of each other, even if they had lost touch. One was now a Princess, the other would never forget that she had once been a Pauper. They thought of how they had once crossed paths as uncertain, frightened young women. Until they died, both young; Grace from a tragic accident, and Audrey from cancer, they never stopped thinking about each other. They both envied and admired one another. Grace for Audrey’s strength and Audrey for Grace’s resolve.

For they were two women who’d gotten to do what they loved, if only for a moment. 


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351 Reviews


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Fri May 25, 2018 7:33 pm
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mellifera wrote a review...



Hey Elinor! I'll be dropping by today for a review!

Although they scarcely had enough to get by, she was an only child, and was loved fiercely by her family.


This makes it sound like she's an only child because her family is poor, which is understandable as children as obviously expensive, but it sounds funny to read to me? I think it would sound better without stating she was an only child in this part, and putting it somewhere else, because I'm taking it to mean 'even though they're poor, they still love her fiercely' or something similar. The only child just feels like an addition, or a fact (I suppose you could put it between dashes?)

As the pauper became a girl, her dark hair was often unkempt, but her smile was always wide. The lady's blonde curls were always immaculately coiffed, but her lips were always tight.


This would sound better if, instead of a girl, you described her as getting older. Otherwise it sounds like she wasn't a girl before, which I don't think was the intent, because girl isn't age specific the way 'woman' would be (as an example).

Also, I think there could be more separation between these two sentences? It's not necessary, it might just sound nicer, since it's a sort of 'meanwhile' kind of thing (if that makes any sense).

She noticed Grace’s turquoise dress. “Your dress is very beautiful.”


This sentence feels kind of stiff and sudden. It's telling too. Perhaps something more along the lines of Audrey inspecting Grace's dress, and describing the dress in a little more detail, and then Audrey commenting on it?

Grace reflected on her own loneliness. She was cast often in plays, and that kept her busy. Yet the public didn’t consider her a serious actress the way they did with Audrey.


Personal preference maybe, but I feel like this could have been rearranged a little? As in, 'She was cast often in plays'... comes first, and then talk about how the public didn't consider her as serious an actress as Audrey, and how she was often lonely? This is completely up to your own stylistic choices though :)

He wasn’t the most handsome. But there was something about him.


The period makes this a little clunky, rather than letting it flow together. Otherwise, I would change 'but' to 'though'. (Although I think it still would sound nicer replacing the period with a comma).

soon they had a family of her own.


their*


-Critics aside, this was such a beautiful memoir. You said this was about Grace Kelly, right? And Audrey is Audrey Hepburn? Unless I'm wrong, haha. But regardless, this was very lovely. I actually had to read it twice to review because I got sucked in the first time <3

-I love the contrast you have between the two, and how it starts to blend in the middle. My only suggestion would be to have a little more towards Audrey's 'perspective' (so to speak), since you seem to focus on Grace a little more, even though sounds like it's meant to be for both.


I hope this review was helpful to you :D I really enjoyed this! It's not something I would normally read, or like, but it was written well and you have a nice style.

I hope you have a wonderful day!




Elinor says...


Thank you! <3



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95 Reviews


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Fri May 25, 2018 5:45 pm
Teddybear wrote a review...



Okay, so I'm not going to criticise your story. I may not like it, but I'm never really one for these types of things, but the rest is all mine. Let's kill it, shall we?.

First things first, your writing style is really...stiff. It reads a bit like a history book, all tell no show. I want to be able to SEE the girls. I want to see the swishing of the lady's skirts around her knees when she walks, I want to see the paupers disheveled hair bouncing around her head as she nods and walks. I want the pauper to shove unruly strand of hair out of her face, I want the lady and walk with a perfect posture and to speak with a noble accent. I want to SEE the characters, I want to FEEL the action, I want to feel the chilly air of the over-cooled waiting room. I want to feel the heat of the casting directors criticizing gazes on the back of my neck as the lady gives her audition. It's the little details that make a piece, add as many as you can without cluttering it up too much, and don't forget to leave something to the readers' imagination. The reading process is a 50/50 deal, after all, half writer, half reader.





The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
— Mark Twain