I'm sorry, love, for all the pain.
I'm sorry, love, I know I'm to blame.
I'm sorry, love, but please, just know
I was trying to do right by you
I know, my love, you wouldn't want
For me to live a lie like this
A pretending heart would never do
I was trying to do right by you
So, please, my love, stop the tears
Please, my love, remember the years
Of love, and life, and laughter and know
I was trying to do right by you
I'm sorry, love, it's over now
I dearly wish it could be different
I'll try to always be there for you
I'm trying to do right by you
I'll always try to do right by you
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,516 Reviews
Any particular reason why? Or did it just not do anything for you?
I was rather frustrated from beginning to end.
haha. I've done that before too...kinda wierd...*start twilight zone theme*
*blinks* it rhymes? *rereads poem* oh... wow... it does... okay, wasn't trying to do that... okay...
thanks for the comments...
it felt bumpy and inconsistent. the patterned stuructured first stanza followed by less structured other stanzas bothered me.
This is a good poem but it seemed bumpy and the ryhming seemed a little pushed.
I like the last line and the first line the most, this is a good poem
I love this, it's yet another great work of yours yet again I have little to say as I'm pretty poo at pointing stuff out...
Great ending it fades off perfectly well done!!
I'm ba-ack...*smiles evilly*
I have way too much time on my hands...
Anyway, this poem was probably the best one of yours I've read so far. One of my pet peeves is rhyming poems, but, for some reason, this one worked. And you had a killer last line.
Well, no real useful critique here. Let's move onto the next, shall we?