Young Writers Society

I loved the start it was great I can relate to it so well. However it went on for a just a little to long and dragged it's self out therefore putting the whole poem down because you forget the great start.

It's not easy for me
To not speak up and say the things I want to
That you're not right for him
That you don't really care about him
That I do, more than anything
It's so hard

It's not easy for me
To not come over and smack you across the face
For not seeing what you've got
For not appreciating it
For not loving him
the way you should

This is going to be a poem you really have to be committed to working on if you want to make it work. A ton of people have this type of problem, so they write some poem about it and it always ends up sounding about exactly the same. Which is bad, especially if you're like us, (the reviewers), and you have to read virtually the same poem over and over and over again.

End of third stanza- these last two lines are kind of redundant. Try not to use any form of the word 'break' twice. It just doesn't work.

Middle of sixth stanza- to try...kind of repetitive, if you get what I mean. especially after three lines of of the same thing.

Seventh stanza- You're basically saying the same thing over and over again, like you are, for some reason, trying to make the poem longer. If you try to do this, all you have is a bunch of bored, hyperactive people at the end of it. Try to cut down on that.

That's it for my nit-picks. I like the last line, it's kind of drifting off and...peaceful...