There’s no point trying
Fags like you never change
I know you’ll go on hurting
Without bothering to arrange
Second chance don’t matter
You’ll always stay the same
See, I got to know you better
You’re just a jerk so lame
You act like you’re some king
Everyone needs to respect
But when the bell will ring
Your poor kingdom will deflect
You think you got the right
To judge me as you want
You think you hold the torchlight
That reveals the me so inevident
You’re such a twisted player
You used me as you wished
And all to get closer to her
I was the perfect puppet you fished
I had so many illusions
Which can only be called crazy
I was your pawn, a distraction
And all you ever did was play me
You never really cared did you?
You messed up hypocrite
And all your kind words were nothing
Nothing else but bullshit!
Now as I look back at the past
I realize we never were friends
Thank God I discovered at last
You’re just one more of those fiends
What ever we had on going
Was nothing but comedy
But I admit, I never saw it coming
At least you made something clear to me:
Guys are jerks. Full stop.
The genuine ones just don’t run the streets
I’m erasing our past with a new clean mop
I’m forgetting you and all your crazy feats
One thing is sure
I’m forever done with you
Go! Stick yourself to her
I’m indifferent to all you’ll do!
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138,204 Literary Works • 672,082 Reviews
Raw and powerful! Dramatic poem for sure! I really enjoyed the way you structured your poem. The stanza size was really ideal for effective pausing and creating tension in your writing. I love the way your poem grew with emotion, I felt like I was being yelled at or watching someone dishing it out in front of me! That feeling as a reader, I got is soooooo great!
As much as the swear word isn't "allowed", I like it....keep it
The title is PERFECT!
My only wish with the poem was you had an amazing line with the pawn. I wish you developed that metaphor more, or even started it in the beginning then go into the heart felt pounding emotion! Never stop writing! You great!
incredible poem,the way you threw everything out,what happend, what was felt,how you realized something in the end just in a couple of paragraphs.i like how you didn't hold back and you were just out with it all. great job!
I like this poem because it's different to those 'love poem' people write (me included... *ahem*).
)!
I really feel the narrator's emotions through the tone of the poem. I'm guessing, again with the tone, that this is a personal experience? Right? Ugh! I know how you feel (if this was a personal experience) because I knew a boy like that but the 'played' one was actually my friend and he was trying to get me (thank God I rejected him! Girl power!
But please change the rating because there are some little bad words in it (I don't mind, but it's the rules because we have little ones running around).
I'm not going to be doing any nit-pricking because I dodn't see many mistakes apart from the lack of punctuation however it may have been intentional. Anyway, I don't mind and I believe poetry doesn't need to many nit-pricks.
Nice work!