Stuck

by DevanEWilliams

Published August 4, 2011

In Poems

Here I am

in the middle

of a futile attempt

to write something beautiful

to place my pencil

on paper

and put images and emotions

to words

But in reality

all we're doing

is trying to make sense

of that tangled, confusing mess

of thoughts and feelings

that make up

our minds.

Comments & reviews · 6
User avatar
Demoness
Review
Demoness wrote a review Review · Aug 9, 2011

Haha, you're so right! But I've got to write, or my mind threatens to suffocate me with it's massive mess of tangled words and thoughts and images and ideas... I love your poem though! But add some punctuation to make it cleaner :) When it comes to wording and stanzas there's nothing I'd like to change... I usually appreciate stanzas, and structure but this wasn't messy so it works just fine the way it is :D

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

User avatar
Boolovesyou
Review
Boolovesyou wrote a review Review · Aug 9, 2011

Here I am

in the middle

of a futile attempt

to write something beautiful

to place my pencil

on paper

and put images and emotions

to words

But in reality

all we're doing

is trying to make sense

of that tangled, confusing mess

of thoughts and feelings

that make up

our minds.


Hey, I liked your poem. I especially liked how you could twist the poem to be about several different topics. Anyway keep up the good writing!

- Boo

Random avatar
creative Comment
creative commented Comment · Aug 4, 2011

wow you really explain alot of things that other authors do not or cannot explain,your poem has a good and intresting thought .

User avatar
mparq
Review
mparq wrote a review Review · Aug 4, 2011

Oh my goodness you have no idea how many times I've written this same poem, story in my head and on the margins of my "outlines." I think this transcription of writer's block plague into writing is genius. And it's good! I didn't miss the irony in how easy it was the read this poem, how well it flowed. As someone who is suffering through an extended stint of "stuck"-ness, this poem brought a genuine smile to my face. Awesome! :)

User avatar
arspoetica
Review
arspoetica wrote a review Review · Aug 4, 2011

I reall like this poem. One thing you should think about is punctuation. You have it set up as one long, run on sentence. This is perfectly alright, and it gives it a completely different cadence and rhythm. I would read this poem out loud and decide whether you like the rushed feel of it, or if you would like to slow it down. If you choose to slow it down, here are some suggestions...

Here I am (I would place a comma here)

in the middle

of a futile attempt

to write something beautiful (Period?)

to place my pencil

on paper (Maybe a comma here, not sure about this one.)

and put images and emotions

to words (Another period?)

But in reality (Comma?)

all we're doing

is trying to make sense

of that tangled, confusing mess

of thoughts and feelings

that make up

our minds.


These are just my suggestions, the poem is perfectly fine how it is.



The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
— Alvin Toffler