Here I am
in the middle
of a futile attempt
to write something beautiful
to place my pencil
on paper
and put images and emotions
to words
But in reality
all we're doing
is trying to make sense
of that tangled, confusing mess
of thoughts and feelings
that make up
our minds.
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Canary word: Present
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Haha, you're so right! But I've got to write, or my mind threatens to suffocate me with it's massive mess of tangled words and thoughts and images and ideas... I love your poem though! But add some punctuation to make it cleaner
When it comes to wording and stanzas there's nothing I'd like to change... I usually appreciate stanzas, and structure but this wasn't messy so it works just fine the way it is
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
Hey, I liked your poem. I especially liked how you could twist the poem to be about several different topics. Anyway keep up the good writing!
- Boo
wow you really explain alot of things that other authors do not or cannot explain,your poem has a good and intresting thought .
Oh my goodness you have no idea how many times I've written this same poem, story in my head and on the margins of my "outlines." I think this transcription of writer's block plague into writing is genius. And it's good! I didn't miss the irony in how easy it was the read this poem, how well it flowed. As someone who is suffering through an extended stint of "stuck"-ness, this poem brought a genuine smile to my face. Awesome!
I reall like this poem. One thing you should think about is punctuation. You have it set up as one long, run on sentence. This is perfectly alright, and it gives it a completely different cadence and rhythm. I would read this poem out loud and decide whether you like the rushed feel of it, or if you would like to slow it down. If you choose to slow it down, here are some suggestions...
These are just my suggestions, the poem is perfectly fine how it is.