Like Amanita

by Ardor

Published March 1, 2012

In Happy Folder

Amanita.
Just like your name.
Lovely eyes.
Trick on my brain.

You made it.
You made my day.
Remember:
stars as they fade

produce light.
And out in dusk,
comes my life.
And comes my love.

Is this true?
Could this be real?
I can't hear.
I cannot feel.
Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Renard
Review
Renard wrote a review Review · Jul 1, 2014

Amanita.
Just like your name.
Lovely eyes.
Trick on my brain.
Hello! Yep, me back to review again. After the last one being quite confusing, I hope I can make slightly more sense of this one. XD Oo-er. :D

You made it.
You made my day.
Remember:
stars as they fade

Right, so someone has made someone else very happy, and they are trying to remember them as they fade away.

produce light.
And out in dusk,
comes my life.
And comes my love.


You've got some really trick enjambment here, because the sentences/lines don't quite make sense if you add them up separately. Or together actually, come to think of it. Hmmm. So they produce the light or the enthusiasm or the love, or whatever. And, the dusk is the darker part, but that is where the love comes in? Gawd this is confusing :P


Is this true?
Could this be real?
I can't hear.
I cannot feel.



This was an unusually short work for you, but very deceivingly confusing in that time, so well done, you've got me thinking again, but I'm not entirely sure what about, I agree with the last stanza. It is indecipherable to say what is real and what is not about this work.

~L

User avatar
DragonGirl11
Comment
DragonGirl11 commented Comment · Mar 4, 2012

Quite possibly my favorite of yours so far, although somewhat confusing.



"She doesn't even go here!"
— Damian Leigh