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Life is eventually beautiful

by Apehdavid2

If I were the man in your shoes, I'll take them off and run to a beach.

If I were the man imprisoned, how free I would live.

If I were the man crippled, how far I would walk.

If I were the yellow dafodill in the storm, how bright I could have blossomed.

If I were the man blind ,such beautiful colors I would see.

If I were the snail, how fast i would run.

If I were the man in the grave, how much I would live.

If I were the bird born without wings, how high I would soar.

Life is ugly from the eyes of one not seeing it from the grave and death is only blissful from the eyes of one seeing it outside the grave.

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60 Reviews

Points: 1763
Reviews: 60

Mon Jun 13, 2022 1:11 pm
LizzyTyler wrote a review...

Good morning/afternoon/evening.

To begin, I love the message behind your poem. You put it so simply, with no extra frilly words. Such a powerful message was put so simply, and yet so beautifuly. I loved how you show the almost hypocrisy behind people’s reactions. Everybody always claims that they would have done it this way, or that way, but in reality, they couldn’t have done anything better.

I think my favorite line wat the last stanza:

Life is ugly from the eyes of one not seeing it from the grave and death is only blissful from the eyes of one seeing it outside the grave.

Such a beautiful way to put it. I know you labeled your poem humors, but to me, it was more thoughtful. Of course, there are elements of humor throughout the whole poem that I love as well. I don’t really have anything to critique, so I’ll end my review here. I hope to see more of your work around soon. Stay safe and keep writing!


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Apehdavid2 says...

Thanks allot for the review, stay tuned for more please

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Points: 1
Reviews: 4

Mon Jun 06, 2022 12:40 am
Jamesies wrote a review...

I love this poem, the wording was amazing and overall I just love the message behind it. The meaning behind the words, or at last how I perceive is the unending "if only" we put ourselves through, where we go "If only I was in this situation" or "if only I was in their situation" because we can see the opportunity for life in another situation, where we look at something with an outright perspective and so easily point out what others are doing wrong, or what the could be doing, without realizing that a similar chance of opportunity awaits us as well. This resonates well with me because often I have missed opportunities while being distracted by what others are doing, thinking to myself, if only I could be there, If only I was in that situation, then I would excel. But it doesn't matter how well you would do in any situation besides your own, because that's where you are, and no matter what you can't leave it. or at least that's how I see the poem

I love the last part of it, "Life is ugly from the eyes of one not seeing it from the grave" I love how this is worded, and I love what it means. often times we talk about how much this world sucks, or how ugly life can be, but without it we are nothing, it's ugly unless we are without it. "and death is only blissful from the eyes of one seeing it outside the grave" sometimes death seems peaceful and enticing to us, but from the eyes of the countless of us whose lives have been cut short by this world, I doubt they see the bliss in it or the peace.

Overall this poem was great and I loved it. I think everything was done really well and I look forward to reading more things by you!

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Apehdavid2 says...

Thanks allot, I really appreciate this. Stay tuned please

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218 Reviews

Points: 13763
Reviews: 218

Thu May 26, 2022 5:47 pm
WinnyWriter says...

Hey, there! This was an interesting poem to read. I get a "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" impression from it. It's interesting how you've made it sound like the narrator is never content. He or she always wants more than where they are, and can never appreciate the beauty and significance of what he or she does have. The message I concluded with is that we should dive in and experience all the joys of life that we do have and be grateful for them before we reach the end of life and realize how much more beautiful it could have been. The perspective here helps the reader realize something important. Good work.

The formatting is also nice. It's clear and uncluttered. I think the only thing I'd really recommend is adding a comma in the last sentence between "grave" and "and". So it would read like this:
"Life is ugly from the eyes of one not seeing it from the grave, and death is only blissful from the eyes of one seeing it outside the grave." The comma gives it a little pause, a sense of stopping briefly between the two connecting ideas on either side of it.

Once again, great job! Keep up the good work!

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Apehdavid2 says...

Thank you %uD83D%uDE42%uD83D%uDE42

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21 Reviews

Points: 220
Reviews: 21

Wed May 25, 2022 12:03 am
ArctiWolf says...

Hi Apehdavid2!

I really like this poem. Its very discriptive and oh so true. We don't seem to know what we're missing until its gone. Usually I enjoy a bit more of a rhyming poem, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

See you around and happy writing!

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Apehdavid2 says...

Thank you . Stay tuned

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1228 Reviews

Points: 144000
Reviews: 1228

Mon May 23, 2022 5:27 pm
alliyah wrote a review...

Hi there, thanks for sharing your poetry! This is an interesting concept - I'm a big fan of the title especially. But I think it'd be a lot more impactful not placed in the humorous category - to me it doesn't really hit any of the humorous notes - it is maybe ironic but if read from a humorous pov is more depressing than anything & perhaps even a touch ableist if extended out.

I would really like to see this re-written with trying to give justification to the claims tge poem makes. How can a wingless bird take flight? etc. I think that could be a very very powerful & purposeful poem. Rught now I don't know what as a reader I'm supposed to learn or take away quite yet - I think the justification/ impact needs a little more.

Good bones and framework here, just not sure the direction yet. Good luck & keep writing!

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1018 Reviews

Points: 161
Reviews: 1018

Mon May 23, 2022 4:48 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...

I feel like this is humorous in the sense that the meaning of life is right in front of us,yet we fail to see it.It’s like we’ve blinded ourselves with judgement and stereotypes.It’s caused us to want to attain something that is impossible:perfection.Nobody is perfect.It’s wonderfully (And sometimes not wonderfully) chaotic.The beauty we fail to recognize.I hope that you have a lovely day/night.

Some call me a legacy, others call me a hero. But I assure you, dear admirers, I am only human.
— Persistence