The Villian

Before I star here, I have to say this: I REALLY like what you did with those slashes. I find that they really seem to add something. I don't know if it was intentional, but (I apologize for anyone this may bother) it reminds me of self harm. The way I see them, each stanza is the narrator berating themselves, before they draw another red line with a piece of steel. I know that I may be overthinking this, but it just seems to add another layer of depth to this.

Some things I like: the fairly neat stanzas. Your stanzas all seem to encompass (for the most part) about one half of a sentence, one quarter of a sentence, or one full sentence. The rhyming is irregular; I like that you don't rely entirely on rhyming to the point of forcing fake-feeling rhymes to get them in there.

Some things I don't like (that aren't important to the value of your work): The fact that you have so many irregular numbers of syllables. It makes it seem a little chunky to me when read aloud, but that's probably just me obsessing over things.


As a final note: I couldn't help giggling like a small child at "He was as deep as a frisbee"

Hey there, Annaclare. Love this poem, I really do. It flows well and I get what you're saying but it could be better. For one thing, you start off great but the third stanza
"He used his charm
To his advantage
Just like he used me
To his advantage as well"

The last two lines threw me off a bit. Maybe you could reword it and not use advantage twice. It could work if you use a synonym to advantage. But if you can't see it any other way than it's fine.

Then, there is the last stanza.
"While his appearance appealing,
He was as deep as a frisbee.
No longer will I fall for a villain.
For I know my hero is coming soon."

Again, I get what you're are trying to say and you lead up to this really strongly but the wording is kind of off.
Maybe you could say something like

"While his appearance was appealing,
He was as deep as a frisbee.
I will fall for the villain no longer
And rise for the hero who will save me."

If you don't like it that's fine. The poem is still great.

Hey Annaclare,

The Enemy here just popped by to do a review!

No one told me
That his diamond smile,
While so entrancing,
Was so deadly.
/
No one warned me
That his blissful kiss,
While so addictive,
Was his main weapon.
/
He used his charm
To his advantage.
Just like he used me
To his advantage as well.
/
How could I be so stupid?
Be so blinded by fake love?
Allow a guy like him,
to just leave me in the dust.
/
I have wasted too many tears.
I allowed my heart to shatter.
It never once crossed my mind,
that he was never worth it.
/
While his smile was luring,
And his kiss enticing,
He was not a hero,
just another lousy villain.
/
While his appearance appealing,
He was as deep as a frisbee.
No longer will I fall for a villain.
For I know my hero is coming soon.

He was as deep as a frisbee.