Choose Hope...

Hi Anna!

I like your intentions with this piece, but I believe it could be communicated in a more efficient way. I agree with Weasly when they say it could be so much powerful, but it has potential and you're a fine poet, so I believe you can make it work. There are certain ways to get a message across other than just listing it out. Think about what hits people, comparisons and situations that could let them to know the reason why they should be lead by what you are telling them. If you take a look at your poem, you may notice that you're giving a list of do's and don't's, but... why is this the right thing to live by?

If you think about it, it could sound a little demanding and not exactly persuasive. Try to be more persuasive. You could do that by explaining why all these values are so important; by showing how they make us better individuals. Try to get the reader grow fond of you in a way that they actually want to give your message a second thought. Develop further!

Keep writing!

Hello. Happy Review Day.
I really like your poem because of the message it portrays. I myself love helping people because there are people in this world who needs help. And helping them not only makes them happy, but makes you happy, knowing that you are doing the right thing. I also love the other messages. "Choose hope." "Choose love". LOVE IT!!!! You are very talented and I love how you wrote something positive. I hope this will inspire all to be happy and kind and generous. Good luck and keep writing!!!

Hey there! The Silent Bagpipe here to review some of your work! First off let me just say this poem was very uplifting, it flowed well and was all together very good!

One suggestion was to say that you didn't rhyme at all, even though poems don't have to rhyme it still better to. Still you don't have to =)

My favorite lines out of each phrase were -

'Dare to dream'
'Choose love.'
'Smile more.'
'Lift up the lost.'
'Hold the broken.'

Once again, great job! =)

~Selina

This is simple, but pleasant and graceful. I like the symmetry between all of the sections of the poem. I really have no criticism. I will say that the love and happiness sections of the poem were the best.
What I Believe Were the Best Lines In the Poem:
--"Doubt nothing"
--"Shame hatred"
--"Seize sadness"
--"Speak blissfully"

While I think that some parts of the poem had some punch, I didn't find it overly powerful. The message(s) just didn't seem too different from what I've seen in the past, and it wasn't so very extraordinary...if you wanted more power, then maybe a type of story within the poem, or more words, would be a good way to give it the power.

Keep writing!

I can't tell you how much I loved this piece!! It's beautiful, absolutely true. I agree with every single line, though as humans we sometimes do the opposite. The second line in your poem is something I live by- dare to dream. To me, that means we shouldn't be afraid to be ourselves or to do things people haven't done.
This is very inspiring. I know many, many people who would agree and like it too. For me personally, "seize sadness" can be hard at times, because so many sad things can happen to people. But I definitely encourage you to share this with as many people as you can/know/want to.
Man, this is so good! Would you mind if I wrote this down, along with your author name and www.youngwriterssociety.com, on a piece of paper and hang it up in my room? Because this will motivate me to do better and to improve my actions and moods.
I have no negative comments, but I will read more of your work if you posted anything else. Congratulations!! Feel free to check out my work, in the poetry section- catlover211. I really, really loved this!!!!
Thank you for posting this! I am so glad that I joined this site!