363 days
That's how long ago we met
145 minutes
That's how much we talked each night
9,538 miles
That's how far away we are from each other
1,000 or so things
Is how much we have in common
2 word description of him
Close friend - we both know this is a fact
5 times
That's at least amount of times I think of him a day
1 second
That's all it took for him to make me smile
5 or so months
That's how long we were distant from eachother
1 word - Hi
This is the one word it took to reconnect us
60 seconds a day
Devoted to think of how you were
72 heart beats
Is how many ones my heart thumped after talking to you for the first time
90 minutes
Is how long it took to get the smile you put on my face taken off temporarily
Infinity
Is how long we will be close
Forever
Is how long I have been changed because of him
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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139,660 Literary Works • 672,645 Reviews
This is absolutely amazing. I felt every bit of it. I loved the numbers and lengths of time. I could really get a glimpse of what you were showing. This is amazing. I love your work and I hope to keep reading it. I suck at reviews so I am not going to even try, I'll just praise it. Keep up the good work and Never stop believing in yourself. Long distance relationships can be tough, but sometimes they're worth it. Good luck!
Much love, AG
This is absolutely amazing. I felt every bit of it. I loved the numbers and lengths of time. I could really get a glimpse of what you were showing. This is amazing. I love your work and I hope to keep reading it. I suck at reviews so I am not going to even try, I'll just praise it. Keep up the good work and Never stop believing in yourself. Long distance relationships can be tough, but sometimes they're worth it. Good luck!
Much love, AG
I'm so unsure as to how I feel about it. I mean, I like the ideas and the true story you're telling us because I myself am in a long distance relationship (perfect girl!) and I know you tried to be different with the way you told it, but sometimes different just isn't always better. I just didn't see the art in it, and I think if you tried a little harder you could produce a much greater monument to how you feel. The statistical way you put it out there; it just kind of sapped the romance for me. I can't really give advice because my advice would be to change the whole writing style of the piece, but again that's just me. I think imagery is at the heart of romantic writing, and you didn't have any. So just be more creative and use some imagery
Hope I helped,
Yours in ink,
TS.
This is surely different!
hey, how did you chose the opening line of what you were going to say?
was it your intention for it to be so vague?
will you ever meet this person?
sorry that was alot of questions but im curious
1. Well l thought about numbers and calculations and I knew that I wanted to write this for a special friend so that's the first one
thanks for reading
2. It will be vague if you are not the person I am personally writing to... But I hope that because of that you can add your own flare.
3. The answer to that is still unknown like I said in the poem we are more than 9000 miles apart.. So probably not but I would love to
I hope this helped
Hey there! CaptainSalty here with a review.
Well, I must say for a new member to YWS, this is pretty great. It's very descriptive, especially towards the end. Yet it makes it seem confusing because there is no punctuation. I mean, a lot of poems don't have any punctuation, but maybe it would be better if there was punctuation.
Despite it being short, as again it's very descriptive and detailed. You did hit that mark, especially. I also really like the ending. It's just very lovely and romantic. Great job!
I know this review is short, sorry about that. I want to see more of your poems. Don't give up and always write!
-CaptainSalty
Anna has been here for over a year :^)
Oh... I just realized that XD
hi its Rituparna for a review.
your poem looks quite good, and its something new to see around. i like your use of specifics and you really made each moment count.
pardon me if i act rude , i just wanted to give you these few suggestions. [ sorry i might be a little picky but its all in positive way]
your poem counts on the time you take and hats what starts each expression. so if you were to end in forever i think its better to start with one second it would be then that you gradually increase the time and end in eternity. this order might make it more significant. well give it a thought and rest lies on you how you want to present your beautiful work.
then come the length. i am sorry if i were impatient, but i felt that the poem could do without a few lines. remember short and simple is the best expression.
lastly its that you missed some other things like counting heartbeats and distance with time which makes the poem a little heterogeneous. think of it and see if something else popps out in that place.
i have a few confusions about this lines and would like it if you explain them to me
"
90 minutes
Is how long it took to get the smile you put on my face taken off temporarily
Forever
Is how long I have been changed because of him"
you have great talent, keep writing and you will do very well
Rituparna
Wonderful, just wonderful.
Thanks! I'm happy you enjoyed it!
This is truly amazing!!!
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it