Close your eyes,” Morris said. She wouldn’t take her eyes off him. “I think you shall be pleasantly surprised, I swear I shall not hurt you.” he moved over and put his arm around her waist, reluctantly she closed her eyes. “Don’t be afraid, I can’t hurt you.”
“Can’t? Well what’s the difference?”
“All in good time my Averill.” She felt like he was picking her up, but there was no strain on her arms. “Open your eyes,” he whispered into her ear. She opened them and looked down. They were floating over the town.
Averill gasped and clung to Morris. “How are you doing this?”
“Well I just pulled you up, and I was hoping that you would be able to hold yourself up. But if you’re freaked it doesn’t work. We best go down before we fall.”
Slowly they lowered themselves top of the building. Even though they were safely on the top Averill still refused to let go. Morris didn’t fight her hard enough to make her let go.
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139,468 Literary Works • 672,573 Reviews
Nice; Though I'm guessing this is just an excerpt from the full document? If it isn't It needs to be fleshed out, and more explaining and description must be added. The whole little writing tidbit lacks depth, and leaves the reader confused as to what is going on. It shows potential, some of the dialogue could use some potential (first paragraph mostly).
Also a description of the characters would be nice (later on, doesn't have to be now), because i would think that most people if they found themselves floating would freak out more (she apparently does this, but it needs a little more description; try describing what they are floating over and how high they are, maybe Averill's facial expression).
Thats my two bits.
Cheers,
DQ
Interesting start, though there are quite a few instances where you don't capitalize when you need to. Just tighten that up and I think you'll have a good tale on your hands
LUNA
Interesting. I'm slightly confused but it seems to be a good way to catch the readers attention.
This is good...it is just really short! No background, no character foundation...no nothing! So...please lengthen. I do realize, however, you would like everyone's thoughts first. Please elaborate however. As for the story itself...
"Slowly they lowered themselves top of the building."
You need "to in here after theselves.
Also...your last line does not make sense! Please elaborate on that! Writergirl P.S.-I thought this was a great start and can't wait to read more!