A broken heart,
in an almost fixed life.
A thousand reasons to cry,
not a single tear shed.
A giver and a lover,
for all her life.
Bound to help others,
before herself,
if she thinks of herself at all.
She sits alone,
she doesn't cry.
She sits alone,
wishing she were there.
Where there is she doesn't care,
as long as she wasn't here.
Her life is a desert,
devoid of emotion and empty.
She hides who she truly is,
letting nobody in.
Fear is her live,
she fears for others.
But never herself.
Yet of all of this,
all she sees,
is the selfish girl she's grown to be.
She says they're better off without her,
but refuses to let them go.
They could survive without her,
probably thrive.
But she would crash,
she would burn.
Although they're not the best,
they're all she's got.
This is a prose/poem, whichever it is.
What an interasting poem. I like this allot. Some ryming.
And I noticed if you look at this poem really hard and really read it through. You can find the message.
Good job. I agree with everyone about those errors (no point on repeating them)lol.
-- M.B.Author
Hey Auth! First, this is a poem, not prose. Prose is like a book.
For me, the main problem with this was that I've heard it before. Not exactly the same, but I've read countless poems with a very similar theme. If you can take an old theme, and spice it up, make it your own, that's wonderful. I don't think that's what happened here, though. See what you can do to add your own, personal twist, maybe?
Another thing that I think might improve this is if you regulated your stanzas. See if you can use the same rhythm for each one. It could make it easier to read and nicer to look at.
But she would crash,
she would burn.
Although they're not the best,
they're all she's got.
I have to disagree with Azure in one of her quotes.
She hides who she truly is,
letting nobody in.
Hello there! I saw you say that you posted your work and so I went to have a look
I noticed these errors:
Where there is she doesn't care,
as long as she wasn't here.
She hides who she truly is,
letting nobody in.
Fear is her live,
she fears for others.
But never herself.
But she would crash,
she would burn.
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