I'm not really sure what it is but it must exist right? If you know, let me know.
The sudden screams of child’s scream rings in your ears.
What is so strange of that?
Children play games all the time,
They fall.
They are children.
Of course they’re going to scream.
But there’s a difference in this scream.
Instead of screaming for fun,
The sound aches with pain,
And fear.
What is going on out there?
You drop your knife in the sink,
You ignore how it lands.
It balances in a way,
That tests the fate.
Of your life.
You go out to see what the problem may be.
You laugh
Nothing to worry about,
Just another game.
Smiling to yourself
You return to your dishes.
An alarm clock sounds,
You jump.
When you jumped you knocked the knife over
And when you stepped forward,
You didn’t realize when it was too close
Until it was too late.
Don’t let the sounds scare you
A child’s scream may worry you.
But don’t let it get out of control.
Watch out for all you do,
It will come back to get you.
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139,468 Literary Works • 672,573 Reviews
this is a good piece even though the ending was kind of expected. And I think that this goes under poetry.. I'm not quite sure what kind of poetry though.. hehe
it was good but i agree with Alainna about making a short story out of it
I liked the idea, but like Alainna, I knew what was going to happen.
It did seem to be formatted like poetry, but didn't feel like it.
Basically, I agree with everything that Alainna said.
*Sorry I didn't have anything knew to say.*
I did really like the idea, however... work on it and it could get a lot better.
Teh Wozzinator
As it stands this appears to be in the format of a poem of sorts. To me it's a piece of prose.
- Maybe create a very short story out of it. The idea is good but there isn't much imagery. Imagery can work really well with a piece like this.
- Build more suspense. To be honest I could kinda see it coming. Try to drag it out more. Get the reader hooked then hit us with the irony.
I liked this and would be happy to look over it if you change it into a short piece.
All the best,
Alainna
xx