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a s-purr-ing day

by AceassinOfTheMoon


over the fence, my neighbor plays distant music

somewhere in the distance, a car alarm goes off

the world is so full of noise

but there's only one noise I hear

purr

my cat is on my shoulder

curled up

warm and fluffy 

eyes closed

purr

we lie in the sun together

rocking back and forth

our backyard swing creaks

she licks my face

purr

she is tired of being petted now

and she moves from my shoulder to my legs

curled up

warm and fluffy

purr

and then there is a bird

and she is off

leaving a trail of shed fur behind her

and there is no more

purr


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1105 Reviews


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Thu Jun 02, 2022 4:18 pm
lliyah wrote a review...



This was a fun read! It reminded me a bit of one of YWS's most popular lit works by @Love An Essay on Society (from the perspective of a cat)

I liked most that this piece wasn't just disconnected descriptors of cats but somewhat told a story as the person pet the cat and the cat was affectionate, but ultimately the cat moved on to something different as cats often do. I think if you could incorporate slightly more narrative elements like the emotions of the speaker or used a metaphor/simile somewhere in your descriptors it would bring the poem up a notch and make it more impactful.

I could very much see something like this turning into a light children's illustrated book though because the language is direct and brings forward an image in the reader's mind. The little bits of repetition were well placed too - they made sense in the context and without being redundant. Well done!

Keep on writing~

alliyah




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415 Reviews


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Sat May 28, 2022 4:51 pm
Eros wrote a review...



Hello there!

This is Eros here with a review for your beauuutiful poetry.

I just have one word to say, "Wow!!!!" Like seriously this is such a sweet poem for cats!! And the "Purrrr" used in italics after every stanza! That adds such an awesome feel to the poem.

The way you describe the cat sitting on your shoulders and then moving towards the legs was so good!
I really loved the poem, such a beautiful piece of work!

Keep writing such amazing stuff,
And we would love to keep reading and reviewing them.

Have a good day/ night!
With love,
From Eros.
:D




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Tue May 24, 2022 5:18 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



This is cute! I had a dog once.His name was Max.I don’t have him anymore,he was given away.I’ve only seen stray cats and a few at an old friend’s house.One time,when I was younger,I was at my Aunt’s house.(She had a cat at the time.Her name was Puma.) Puma scratched my wrist.But I’ve wondered what it was like to have a pet cat.I hope you have a good day/night.




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Mon May 23, 2022 1:23 pm
BEASTtheHUN says...



Repetitive poems, how fun. Purr, purr, purr, purr. I'm a dog person, but you know. Cats are nice. My favorite stanza is the first one, but I also like the last one.
"And then there is a bird
and she's off
leaving a trail of shed fur behind her
and there is no more
purr"





sometimes i don't consider myself a poet but then i remember that i literally write poetry
— chikara