over the fence, my neighbor plays distant music
somewhere in the distance, a car alarm goes off
the world is so full of noise
but there's only one noise I hear
purr
my cat is on my shoulder
curled up
warm and fluffy
eyes closed
purr
we lie in the sun together
rocking back and forth
our backyard swing creaks
she licks my face
purr
she is tired of being petted now
and she moves from my shoulder to my legs
curled up
warm and fluffy
purr
and then there is a bird
and she is off
leaving a trail of shed fur behind her
and there is no more
purr
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140,079 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
This was a fun read! It reminded me a bit of one of YWS's most popular lit works by @Love An Essay on Society (from the perspective of a cat)
I liked most that this piece wasn't just disconnected descriptors of cats but somewhat told a story as the person pet the cat and the cat was affectionate, but ultimately the cat moved on to something different as cats often do. I think if you could incorporate slightly more narrative elements like the emotions of the speaker or used a metaphor/simile somewhere in your descriptors it would bring the poem up a notch and make it more impactful.
I could very much see something like this turning into a light children's illustrated book though because the language is direct and brings forward an image in the reader's mind. The little bits of repetition were well placed too - they made sense in the context and without being redundant. Well done!
Keep on writing~
alliyah
Hello there!
This is Eros here with a review for your beauuutiful poetry.
I just have one word to say, "Wow!!!!" Like seriously this is such a sweet poem for cats!! And the "Purrrr" used in italics after every stanza! That adds such an awesome feel to the poem.
The way you describe the cat sitting on your shoulders and then moving towards the legs was so good!
I really loved the poem, such a beautiful piece of work!
Keep writing such amazing stuff,
And we would love to keep reading and reviewing them.
Have a good day/ night!
With love,
From Eros.
This is cute! I had a dog once.His name was Max.I don’t have him anymore,he was given away.I’ve only seen stray cats and a few at an old friend’s house.One time,when I was younger,I was at my Aunt’s house.(She had a cat at the time.Her name was Puma.) Puma scratched my wrist.But I’ve wondered what it was like to have a pet cat.I hope you have a good day/night.
Repetitive poems, how fun. Purr, purr, purr, purr. I'm a dog person, but you know. Cats are nice. My favorite stanza is the first one, but I also like the last one.
"And then there is a bird
and she's off
leaving a trail of shed fur behind her
and there is no more
purr"