Young Writers Society

Love love love the title it drew me in and I had to know more. The whole time I was reading I kept thinking wow is this person conceited or what until I got to the last line and I just stopped and thought oh wow, sorry. This was amazing. I think I heard somewhere that beauty isn't anything unless your dead or I thought of it, I don't know but that's what popped into my head after reading. This was really good thought. Makes me wonder if that's really what goes on inside the head of a girl with that mind set?

I read this poem because the title quite simply drew me in. I wanted to know why beauty was poison and what made you feel that way. It's a jolly good title. Well done!
I like the way you voiced the fact that being beautiful can make you feel useless and like you're nothing more than an ornament in an ugly grey world which, of course, you aren't.
I like the way that you make the poison gold because, as we all know, gold is considered to be very beautiful, partly because of its appearance and partly because of the wealth it brings with it.
This is a beautiful poem and I have absolutely no criticism for you. Well done

Wow.

Twas first to review!!!!! Yippi ki yay mother father! (Keeping it PG, kids.)

Now this is a brilliant poem, I rarely see poems in this sort of format that are well written, but you are very talented! Now you'll have to excuse this review, as I haven't been on YWS in months!

Lets get started with positives. I love the title, I'm always one for intriguing poem titles, and Beauty and Poison are very contrasting, which drew me in. I was really impressed and surprised at the beautifully worded pessimism, like "But that's all I am." and "useless tears I cry at night are diamonds". Lets focus on that second line, I like the expression "useless tears", it creates a sense of futility about the poem, and describing them as diamonds gives the impression that you're trying to say that you can't do anything wrong, and it's killing you inside. I adore the line "Even the poison I drink is gold." because not only are you referring back to the title, you are creating an 'everything is pointless' attitude, and it makes the reader empathise with you, seeing as it is a narrative, so you feel closer to the author. That last line is really powerful, but a little blunt, I feel like you could change the wording somehow to make it flow better with the rest of the poem, even if it is at the end.

Apart from that, I couldn't find anything wrong at all This is some real talent you have here, keep writing! I'd love to read more from you

That was really good. I like the metaphorical idea behind it-as grim as the idea is. It shows from a different perspective since almost everything thats angsty has the whole 'i'm ugly' idea behind it. You showed that you don't have to be this 'ugly' person and there are a million sides to every story and the human mind. Unless it wasn't metaphorical and you are talking about some really pretty ghost. No but anyway i really appreciate mental illness and issues being talked about from a different perspective. That was amazeballs. ;D

I like this very much. However, I don't understand what happened/what didn't happen. How is the person dead? Did they kill themselves? Is this theoretical? Do you mind explaining?
I also don't understand why you capitalized beautiful; is that really necessary?
Besides these small things, I think this is creative, interesting, and unique.
Just one nitpick:

But that's all I am.

Even the useless tears I cry at night are diamonds,

Even the colors I bleed are a rainbow,

Even the poison I drink is gold.

When you continue the sentence in different verses, typically you don't want the lines to be capitalized. It flows better and looks better. So, if you attended by that unspoken rule, it would look like:

But that's all I am.

Even the useless tears I cry at night are diamonds,

even the colors I bleed are a rainbow,

even the poison I drink is gold.

Okay, that's it! Great job! My favorite lines were probably:
Even the useless tears I cry at night are diamonds,
And
Even the poison I drink is gold.

Excellent descriptions.
Overall rating: 7.5/10
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