I love December,
The ice cold weather puts frost on your lips,
It gives me goosebumps,
Every time we kiss.
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139,527 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
Hi, I really like this poem, it's very sweet, and even though this is very short, I like how clear it is. The feeling you're trying to create is very present, and very easy to detect in so few words.
But then again, it IS not much of a poem, and I think it could be extremely good if you added something to it, so that we can get a better look at the feeling, and the picture that you're trying to create. Maybe try doing some more scenarios like the kiss, and describe them in that same poetic way that you already did.
I mean, it's December and Christmas, there must be more beautiful images you can put in here
Really good though,
MathiMouse
This is absolutely perfect and so like a sweet flashing thought. This needs NO improvement as far as I'm concerned and is the perfect poem for the upcoming season! If this is a preview of your work I can't wait to see more!
~RagingLive
yasssss lylasssss
I don't know what's happened to me.
THIS GENERATION HAS GOTTEN TO MY HEAD HELP
Oh~ this poem is so cute. c:
Thanks <3
Hey there! I really enjoyed this. I like how you managed to convey romance while being succinct. Even though it is so short, I got a sense of the narrator's character and how she feels about things. It was sweet without being sappy. Great job!
Thanks <3
So cute...
Hello! This is a great really short poem. Just reading the second line made me smile, that was my favorite part of the whole thing. Although it is short, It was fantastic! If you were to make it longer though it could be even more amazing, no doubt. I feel like I can definitely relate to this so that is awesome too! Anyways, keep up the good work!
-Nicole
Hey, Weather here to review. Glad to say, you're the first review I've done in a while
. So off we go!
Things I liked:
The general theme of the poem, winter is always very insightful especially in literature where winter can have many different and ambiguous meanings and connotations.
The descriptions you've used highlight winter well.
The feelings you've mentioned also capture aspects of winter, in terms of the nature of that season.
I like how you linked winter to the feeling a significant other has given to the character in the poem.
Things that can be improved upon:
I think you need more length in this particular poem so a momentum can be built and so the ending can really make the reader feel an emotion which really connects them to this poem and so it's memorable. It finished all too quickly so it feels like there was a section missing.
I think more imagery is always a good idea, it would allow the reader to see what you are intending for us to see in it, your thoughts and feelings towards this.
A full stop instead of a comma would have worked well after, "December" because what you've stated in that first line is more of a statement.
Overall this has great potential, hope I helped. Don't hesitate to ask for a review!
~Weather
Thank you so much!
Very short poem but it didn't need to be any longer. These four lines said completely every thing it should. I read it couple of times and it gave me goosebumps
I would say that my favorite part was last two lines. "It gives me goosebumps,
Every time we kiss" I don't know what but it just sounds so good, i just can read it and read it. It reads smoothly too, well except the second line, its kinda jumps out. Maybe it would sound better if you made from one line two like
"The ice cold weather
Puts frost on your lips," like this, but that's only me.
In all together i like your poem, it is chillingly warm.
Thanks!
Hello! This is a great poem! You chose the perfect words to give the reader chills, and I have to admit I shivered after I read it. Usually, I hate hate hateeeeeee being cold. That's just me. The feeling is so uncomfortable and agonizing that I feel like I'll freeze to death. To me, death by ice would be absolute torture. Bring on the fire! Lol
Anyway, this creates a sense of warmth in my heart that compliment the chills on my arms. I really love this and it made me smile despite it being 9:30 am on a Monday morning in class...(that was quite the accomplishment, by the way) I can't wait to read more from you!!
Thank you!