Brightness in darkness
Holding hands across the sea
The moon’s full tonight
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Hey ccw!
Thank you for your comments on my piece, I found them encouraging! I also wanted to welcome you to YWS, seriously, I hope you enjoy your time here and stick around for the long run ^^! Let me get straight into this.
I love the title, I also love aesthetically the way the title looks (the little 'moon-shaped' accent mark over the A) <3
My first reading of "brightness in darkness", I interpret the line as saying how you can always find that silver-lining, even when in darkness/ all's bad, etc. When I read the next line, I find a new interpretation of the first line, because I read it as brightness AND darkness holding hands with one another, and I think that idea is beautiful. Obviously, my only qualms with it is the word "in". In carries the meaning of the first interpretation (silver-lining) and leaves out the second interpretation, which would be suited better if you'd have written "Brightness and darkness" I wish there was a word that could suit BOTH interpretations, but I can't think of any ;-;
Loved this poem though. It's refreshingly simple and beautiful, as most haikus are.
~ as always, Audy
Knight r4 here to review this poem. I will need all the courage I can get to tackle this piece. It looks to be a tough nut to crack. But fortunately I have the nutcracker. No not really but I have something that is far better. Motivation. Okay I will get to the review.
I am not quite sure what the title of the poem, based on the definition you put in the description has to do with the poem itself. I guess I can kind of see the connection though it is very vague. Then again so is poetry! Hehehe!
I guess I will refrain from mentioning the fact that there was no punctuation since that would be a little repetitive. But you do need to have some in there.
Well I guess that is all I had to say aside from the fact that I like this and it is very poetic in nature. See you later happy Writing!!!
Ps. Just to let you know in case you haven't guessed already I like your poetry!
Thanks for all the reviews on my poetry. I'm a poetry fan myself as far as you can see.
When it comes to haiku, I rarely have much to say about them-- be it good or bad. This poem, however, captured something aesthetic that I can barely put into words. It's mystifying. Haiku tend to have that effect on me. But the elegance of the structure of the poem as well as the beautiful imagery that was displayed within the 17 syllables was something truly exceptional. However, I feel that the final line could be altered to sound a little smoother. Possibly, "A full moon above."
This is a truly wonderful haiku.
Thank you for sharing it with YWS.