Amphibian leaps
To the green leaf below him
He misses and sinks
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137,484 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
Well, seeing this is a Haiku, writing a review is going to be almost impossible. But I'll try.
Right?
First of all, I think this is a great poem. You were able to get a story across in one little Haiku.
This is what I imagine, tell me if it's wrong, because getting a view across is the most important thing... The frog leaps from some land next to the water, flying over the pond towards a lily pad. He seems to be making it, but then he nicks the edge of the leaf and ungracefully sinks into the water.
I'm not sure about Haikus, but I think you could put a full stop at the end and some commas. But it doesn't really matter as the format is already clear.
That's my mini review done, I tried! XD
It was a very good review. Thank you very much.
Hello ccwwritngrainbow. Knight r4 here to attempt reviewing this work. I am always up for a challenging piece to review. I certainly hope this helps you, though there probably isn't much that you will need to edit. Anyways, enough with the formalities. Review Time!
First off I thought that I would comment on the complete lack of punctuation here. I will admit that I am anything but an expert when it comes to punctuation. However I a sure that you need at least one or two punctuation marks aside from the end mark that doesn't exist here.
I am kind of disappointed by how short this poem is. The simplicity of it is good for effect but we don't really figure out if the frog died and if so how. I wouldn't think he would die because they are so light but I don't know. However that is just my opinion and I am anything but an expert on poetry. However it is good for a little effect! This poem is fine as it is though thought you could have added a little bit more.
Overall I think this was a pretty good poem. I will be satisfied as long as you add a few punctuation marks. Well I believe I have said all that I wanted to say. Happy writing!!!